“A while ago my husband and I were driving to a 99-cent store to buy some party supplies. I mentioned, “You know, a lot of these so-called 99-cent stores charge more than 99 cents for many of the items they sell.”

“Not possible,” he said. “All 99-cent stores sell everything at that price. That’s why they’re called 99-cent stores.”

“That’s not true. You don’t know because you haven’t been to one. The 99-cent thing is just a way to get more people into the store,” I explained.
“Why would they call it a 99-cent store if it’s not one?” he shot back, still trying to convince me.

“Wait a minute,” I blurted out. “This is a dumb argument about a fact. Why don’t we just hold on for 10 minutes, get to the store, and we’ll have our answer?” He agreed, so we shut our mouths and found the answer in the store. (I was right!)” – Laura Puhn

This was part of a ‘Dumb Arguments Smart Couples Have’ article that was sent out around work last week Friday. It lead to a whole day of back and forth email banter between the men and women in my office about relationships (we work hard for the money).

Indeed Fact Vs Opinion is easily the most pointless type of argument a couple can have, why? Well, one of you is 100% right, no debating. Getting worked up over something that you’re right about as opposed to showing the person the person why you’re right is a waste of time. Alas it is part of the fabric of many a relationship and how boring would we all be if we didn’t have small disagreements with the other half?

This email got me thinking about other small common relationship debates/arguments/disagreements that many couples have. Here’s the other 9…

I tend to sleep on the right side, you?

2. MY side of the bed

When you first stay over at each other’s houses ground rules are established; Somewhere between ‘shoes off, on my carpet’ and ‘The dishes aren’t going to clean themselves’ is ‘This is MY side of the bed’. If you’re both fortunate enough to have your preferred side of the bed on opposite sides, all is wonderful. However usually, the universe doesn’t conspire to make our lives easy and instead we’re putting across our case for the edge of the bed, or the side closest to the door, or furthest from the window. This war of word tends to lasts around 5 mins and it’s a guarantee one of you have already put your body on the bed resulting in physicality. The woman often wins the battle, but ‘insomnia’ wins the war…remember that.

Super Sunday Bitches!

3. The Remote

Reality TV VS Drama, Criminology VS Sport, A show about Four Women’s Lives most likely to involve narration and be based on a book VS Sitcoms; the battle of the remote has long been at the forefront of debate. Indeed most men would rather put their hand in a blender than watch Made in Chelsea and most women would rather download Lumidee’s greatest hits than sit through that sitcom that doesn’t make her laugh. Thanks to Sky+ and compromise this argument has less of an occurrence (unless a live sport or soap is on…then its war) and couples usually sit through shows together unscathed, unless….

4. Talking during Movies/TV

Y’all know EXACTLY what I’m talking about. There are three types of spouses who talk during movies/TV.

a) The one who asks too many questions during the movie/show

‘Who is she?’ ‘Who’s that?’ ‘Why did he do that?’ ‘Is he going to get shot?’ ‘Isn’t that the girl from Fresh Prince?’ These type of questions lead to arguments, people are not paid to be narrators.

Unrealistic tip: Print out a synopsis and put on subtitles on the TV, so anytime they are about to open their mouths, just point to printed sheet.

b) The one who reacts to everything that happens in the movie/show

“She left you because you were worthless” ‘Typical men’ “I thought that one was on their side” “No don’t go in there’…..How much emotion does one invest in TV that they have to react to everything that happens? Sounds are part and parcel of reacting to TV, but full on sentences? Well that’s not for everybody.

Unrealistic tip: Tell them you’ve seen it and she/he dies in the end

c) The one who starts a conversation about NOTHING to do with the movie/show

So you’re watching a thriller about a serial killer and she starts a conversation about cushions she wants to buy from NEXT.

Sigh…

Unrealistic tip: Purchase that gun and self-fire.

5. Toothpaste

Do you squeeze the toothpaste from the bottom of the tube or in the middle? Do you put the cap on or leave it on the counter? These are important questions, because they’ll lead to lectures like this…

6. Driving

Common Argument Points:

• How Slow You Drive
• How Fast You Drive
• Not following the map
• Taking the long route
• Talking about buying cushions from NEXT when the spouses favourite song is on

7. Food

Don’t listen to anybody who’s on a diet or a certain food programme; the moment their partner brings home food their regime goes out the window. Questions such as ‘Why didn’t you buy me any?’ are a regular occurrence and dare the partner answer back with a legitimate reason they get greed, inconsiderate and rude claims thrown in their face. Then we have…

Him: I’m ordering X what do you want?
Her: Whatever
Him: Don’t say whatever because if I order X I know you won’t like it
Her: Seriously, whatever. I’ll have what you’re having.
RESULT: She had what he had and didn’t like it.

We also have:
Him: I’m ordering some Y, do you want some?
Her: No
Him: You sure?
Her: Yeah I don’t want Y
RESULT: She sees your Y when delivered and now wants it.

We ALSO have:
Him: I’m ordering Z, you want some?
Her: Ooo ok…get me some Y
Him: Cool, anything else?
Her: No just Y
RESULT: She has some Y but wants your Z, she stares at you while you’re eating your Z, guilt-tripping you into giving her your Z. So she gets a Y and half a Z and you only end up having half a Z….and Mcdonalds is closed. You then go on to watch a movie about a serial killer and then she starts talking about buying cushions from NEXT.

8. Who is She?

Men have an unfortunate but understandable habit of not telling their female counterparts about all the women they are friends with or converse with. The problem comes when one of these women leave you a message, ping, missed call, tweet, fax etc and your woman sees it. Your woman will ask you ‘Who is she?’…now you can say she’s a friend (she is) but she will think ‘If she’s a friend, why didn’t you ever mention her before?’……argument begins.

9. Hair In The Sink

Whether a guy is shaving and leaves her in the sink or a woman is washing/combing her and leaves hair in the sink, the option to get rid of the evidence is a route rarely taken. This my friends results in a small but common argument.

10. Phonecalls After Watershed

Mike said it in Careful What You Wish For and Maverick said it in 4 Things You Lose Once You Commit, receiving phone calls after a certain time is a no-no. The point when swearing is permitted on your TV screen is usually the point when phonecalls are meant to suffer a drought and 9 times out of 10 that rule only applies to calls from the opposite sex. Principles rule, decide to go against them, its an argument.

Those are the TEN Small Arguments That Most Couples Have. It’s been fun.

I’m gone like decent Trending Topics ……#TypeNickiMinajWithoutLooking #TypeYourNameWithoutVowels ? …wtf is that about?

JC

What other common arguments have I missed? Guys and Girls tell me things you have argued about in the past. Lets get these comments cracking!