May has undoubtedly been the most action packed month this year. I can’t remember a month in recent memory where we’ve had so much relevant and irrelevant news. We have had it all from City winning the title in the dying seconds, to Obama’s reversed stance on Gay marriage, to a dog having more talent than the whole of Britain, to a 3-piece drama session between Meek Millz, Drake and Chris Brown on sleeping with Rihanna entitled “Who’s Got Next?: Avengers Assemble”

On the blogging front, it has also been a quiet month as we have been working on our Web Series (Check out the rest of the teasers HERE) but I couldn’t help but keep my ears to the streets to keep up with the early summer madness. So here are the 5 things that I learnt about the world this month. MAY 2012.

Most Valuable Tool This Summer

5. The Sun is an Aphrodisiac which Barbers and Car Washes capitalise on

I remember when I was little listening to Will Smith’s Summertime and thinking I can’t wait until I got me some freedom to enjoy life big willie style. The only problem is that living in the UK, rarely do we get to see the sunshine in a consistent basis. So when the sun starts licking down for three days in a row, I couldn’t help but get myself within close proximity of the opposite sex. First thing’s first though, I had to look fresh, so I go to the barbers and I have never seen a queue so long all year. Waiting 2 hours for a trim and a further 45 minutes for a car wash made me realise that I am in the wrong industry to capitalise on this summer madness.

4. August in 1985 must have been the most fertile period in British history

I don’t know about you all but I for one rarely look forward to the month of May, for the

Ballin' since '85

amount of birthday celebrations that exist within those 31 days. In total I can just about count over 15 invitations to a birthday celebration this month. Now, that is just the start. The strange thing is that a majority of those birthdays were people turning 26, i.e. in May, 1986 a large percentage of the NHS budget must have gone into paying overtime to midwives.

Which leads me to think that something must have been gnawing in the month of August 1985. Research has shown that July 1985 was in fact a good month in the UK. It was announced that unemployment fell for the first time since October 1984, a young lady became the youngest person to graduate from Oxford at 13, Live Aid raised loads of money for Ethiopia and in the following month, UB40 went to number 1 with I Got You Babe coupled by the fact that London temperatures that month was mainly somewhere between 24 to 26 celsius, I believe this all led to the aunties (A polite name for a friend’s mum) thinking #YOLO and 9 months down the line, these guys who would later befriend me, were born.

3. Selective Journalism is not just for Tabloid newspaper

If you happened to be on Twitter during between 18th and 22nd May, you could not help but be bombarded by tweets of the Champions League final and Watch The Throne or in Twitter speak #CFC #WTT. Having gone to many live performances in my life, I can pretty much vouch that WTT at the O2 is the best live performance that I have been to. I couldn’t help but encounter some disdain from conspiracy theorist and claims of devil worshiping because we happened to have attended a secular concert.

Yep we have heard it all before, the illuminati, Devil’s music, The Pyramid on the Dollar, etc. In fact @WaikiHairnais has a quite interesting take on Christians attending a secular concert.  Her post triggerred an interesting thought and a question for the conspiracy theorists and those quick to judge one’s spiritual stance based on their personal beliefs. So I ask this question:

“With all the negative tweets about WTT attenders, did it not occur to you that at some point at the event Kanye West had circa 80,000 people (20,000 per night) singing along to “Jesus Walks”?

Now if we go by some people’s thought process of there being such a divide between religion and secular music, that is like your pastor playing “Niggaz in Paris” in the middle of a church service. Now for some strange reason the latter is likely to be ridiculed and be left with an empty church. Whereas 20,000 people happily sang along to what Kanye and Jay-Z to this day describes as one of their favourite Kanye singles.

Selective journalism / opinions? or half hearted evidence.

2. Spiritual racism

One the 19th May, history was made. Chelsea became the first London club to lift the Champions League. *100 tears for Arsenal and Spurs fans* I have to admit, it was the most remarkable rollercoaster campaign I have experienced in the years that I have been watching Champions League football. But I couldn’t help but pick up on the fact that most people on Twitter were jokingly insinuating that Juju was involved because Chelsea have quite a high proportion of African footballers.

Yet when Man United managed to score two goals in 2 minutes or Liverpool managed to overturn a 3-0 deficit against the best team in Europe – at the time-, it was all fate, heart and heart. I don’t know maybe it is because we never had Twitter back then and I am more attuned to public opinion now than ever. But I ask where was the Juju when Suarez handled the ball vs Ghana? or when the world was in pursuit of KONY? When its Solskjaer or Gerrard its Champagne bottles but when its Mikel and Essien its water spirits.  #LeaveItYeah

1. That there is such thing as a £1 fish

Now I know I might be late, but I only discovered this video this month and I couldn’t stop laughing as soon as I pressed play.

Come on ladies, come on ladies….

Thats my next chap up line. Peace!

The Yak