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The world is now more connected than ever. and social networking sites can be a fun place to be at times. At their peak you are guaranteed a good laugh 9 out of 10 times and at their worst, you can still look back at old pictures and conversations you may have had. It does give you a good archive of the good times that maybe the real world doesn’t. To me, most social networking sites are the same and work under the same principles. So I have decided to compile a list of five things that you are likely to find on most social networking sites.

Webcam’s sheg top Models

Mostly found on: Facebook, Twitter, Profile Pic and MySpace

The problem with social networking sites is that we all seem to think we are more popular and even more sexier than we are in real life. So now and again you will get a chick that obviously didn’t get the memo that no one wife’s a “social media” model.

We have all got that one person on our Facebook or MySpace (slap yourself) who message your inbox with the message, “Please comment on my picture”; these tend to be the same people I refer to as “serial snapper”. The type that come to a party for 10 minutes start taking pictures with everyone, leaves to go to a next party and by the time you woke up in the morning to check their Facebook, you would think they had the time of their lives. But its all a facade

Status Philosophers and Prophets

Mostly found on: Facebook and Twitter

Is it me or don’t we all turn philosophical once we get in front of our Facebook and Twitter status update bar? There is nothing wrong with sharing knowledge and statements, but its weird when you meet the same characters in real life and they turn out to be a total contradiction to their prophecies.

Yesterday’s philosophical tweet: “Love forgives…”
Today’s status: “When I catch the pagan who violated my bank account, my man dem are going to need “Free my brother” T shirts”

The funniest ones are when you follow two people who are in a relationship and witness the indirects and subliminals they give each other when the relationship turns sour. It can be cringe-worthy but always humorous.

Woman: “Only the lord knows…” Translation: He cheated

Man: “I am doing me!” Translation: Just in case the rumours about her are true

Woman: “Its Complicated” = Man: “Single”

You know a couple are in a rocky relationship when you start to see outlandish conversations on the girl’s wall with brothers she knows her man never liked. Laughing at their dead jokes just to get a brother vex. These girls strategically pick them hench (muscular) brothers who pose topless on their profile pic with names like Nathan “Stamina” Powell, just to hurt a brother’s feelings.

Serial Spammers

Most likely found on: Twitter

There is nothing more annoying on Twitter than a person who doesn’t tweet anything constructive but is simply waiting for you to mention a brand and then hit you up with a link to their website. I now refrain from mentioning “Apple, iPod” or any electronics in fact, because I know that these nuggaz are sitting in the wings waiting for a brother to slip. They’ve got a brother now speaking in code on Twitter like:

@TheYakBWNG: “The new NoireBerry is better than the eye Phone”

The worst is when they have the audacity to follow you and you get gassed up (excited) thinking you got mad followers, only to see all these egg accounts following thousands of accounts and no followers. I’m not gonna lie, I leave them there for my personal ego boost. Nobody has to know.

Countryside Girls

Mostly Found on: Black Chat and hip hop Forums

Ladies if your man decides to take a trip to the country, be scared. Because there are two reasons why a hood negro goes to the country.

1. Serve the fiends
2. To link a country girl they met on Black Chat.

Yes, Black chat was infamous for brothers picking up a chick from outside the hood. Blackchat was the number one social networking site before Facebook and MySpace. Whilst the righteous brothers ans sisters were discussing how to overcome the disparity in the black community, other brothers were in the “Casual room” scooping up country girls with jungle fever. Even though it was designed for building black communities it was in fact was the first website where you were guaranteed to find brothers before these dating sites. A brother could be preaching about Afrocentric movement then he sees the picture below and starts private messaging “ASL”

New Age Criminals

Most likely found: Facebook and Twitter

I read an article a few months ago about how a family home got burgled because the daughter updated her status and family pictures abroad. As much as I don’t support burglary, I had to laugh and have a slight praise for the genius behind the burglar. While thirsty brothers were trying to get half naked pictures of chicks, these brothers were scheming.

Boy: “When am I going to see you babes?”
Girl: “When I come back from the family holiday…”
Boy: “Oh for real? where are you going and when?”
Girl: “We are going Barbados tomorow for two weeks”
Boy: “What the whole family?”
Girl: “Yeah…”

*The boy starts to go through her pictures to see the formation of the house, such as the Cat flap in the kitchen door. The 50inch screen TV she was tweeting about*

Parents come back from holiday and the house looking like LIDL on after the riots.

Like I said before social networking site can be fun, as long as you realise the limits. Those eggs aren’t your real friends, so better mind what you put out there because sooner or later it’s going to come back to haunt you.

The Yak

Do you recognise these types? What other types of people roam are social networking sites? Leave your comment!