Bish You Wasn’t With Me When Nepa Took The Light
At the end of every month we’ll be featuring a guest post from some of our favourite bloggers, social commentators and readers from the UK and around the world. Today’s post is courtesy of Dear Rob, lets go!!!
*Pours out some Hennessy* Kobe why? Why Kobe, why? Why didn’t you sign a bloodyclart prenuptial? Why my brother, why? Oh the pain. Oh the agony. It feels like one of those moments when your mate rings you to tell you that his side chick has sent him a text reading “I’ve missed my period” to which he replied“Today’s Saturday, you haven’t got university” to which she replies “I know”.
According to the Los Angeles Times the feisty lizard, I mean Vanessa Bryant *honest typo* will be Azonto-ing away with $75 million dollars, three of his properties worth in excess of $17 million dollars and additional funds in child support; Kilo Mike and Bloodyclart Tango.
Vanessa claims she caught her husband cheating with a plethora of women over the years but felt like this was the final straw; I guess that’s why she’s deciding to suck him dry, no fellatio.
In America the party filling for divorce must state grounds for wanting to do so. The grounds may be ‘no fault’ or ‘fault’ depending on the state. ‘Fault’ assuming one party is to blame for the breakdown in the marriage i.e. infidelity et al. ‘No fault’ is usually where there is a mutual agreement that the marriage is on JSA .Now when a marriage is filed as ‘fault’, I can unequivocally say that one will be taken to the cleaners if a prenuptial agreement has not been put in place.
At the time of their marriage Vanessa refused to sign a pre-nup and despite the advice of his lawyers, Kobe decided to marry her anyway. Oh Kobe, I bet you’re laying up now, dribbling, thinking why you travelled and slam dunked those tricks. Well hey; I guess it’s all part of the game if you want to score.
It was an asinine move on Kobe’s part to cheat knowing he did not have a signed prenuptial agreement to protect him in the event of him getting caught out. He can hop off his low donkey and go and face the wall. Marriage is all about investment, property and family alliance. It is a social construct which stems from primitive times. It is on this basis that the institution of marriage was founded. One should know this; hence the sharing of Kobe’s assets now that his marriage is coming to an end. For those who assert that marriage stems from the bible, please feel free to drop a scripture in the comment box at the end of this post showing me where it states that someone should take half of one’s property when a couple divorces. What happened to forgiveness? What happened to the vows “til death do us part”? *Sips Gari and 27 Peanuts*. Yes I understand that Kobe was unfaithful but should $75 million plus his houses which he toiled and sweated for be reprisal?
So basically our reward as men for allowing a woman not to work and live in our house for free is her taking half when she leaves? Cool. So I will clothe you, feed you, house you, give you an allowance and slave at work only for you to take half (yes I am aware it’s not in all cases that a woman takes half) when we divorce? G-d forbid bad things!
If any woman thinks she can enter the relationship in a Skoda and leave in an Aston, just know that Martin will be ready to take her out. If I were Kobe I would have put money on her head, 1 million dollars would’ve done the trick. I kid, I kid, I kid.
I hear the feminists screaming “but she was cooking, cleaning, looking after the kids, she deserves half”. Well he was out bringing home the bacon, so don’t be a swine. Yes raising kids is a full time job and I appreciate this, but was she not kept well? So is this what happens when a man plays the provider? And please there are numerous cases where men have been rinsed like 100.3fm when a divorce was filed and infidelity wasn’t the cause. Oh and might I add, prenuptial agreements have historically not been uphelding by the British judicial system. If the woman was cohabiting with you and has your kids, there is a high propensity when you separate that she could still take you the cleaners whether you’re married or not.
Yeah She Has A Bum, Butt Is She An ASSet Or A Liability?
As a man, when settling down it is imperative to find a woman who has a demonstrable use. The patriarchal way of living has almost been suffocated; women have been emancipated and are no longer slaves tied to the kitchen sink. It was science, not religion; which disencumbered women. It was the modern factory that largely set her free from the constraints of the home. Man’s physical abilities were no longer a cardinal need in the new maintenance mechanism; science so changed the conditions of living that man power was no longer grander than woman power. In 1970 the equal pay act of the United Kingdom parliament prohibited favourable treatment between men and women in terms of pay and conditions of employment. I am happy that women have been emancipated and are no longer chattel to men in the confines of a relationship but this is one of the main reasons why marriages lasted longer back in time. Women never 
made good money so they were reliant on a man to take care of them. Now women are earning (have been emancipated) they no longer need to stand for the BolaSoji that man dishes their way. If all you require from a woman is to act as a trophy piece to show off on your arm “Good Luck” *Albanian Taken voice*.
We are in 2012; a woman’s role should no longer be seen as her being a breeding machine or a house wife. Those days are over brother. One has to adapt, buy a watch if you have a problem moving with the time. I repeat, is she an asset or a liability? If someone isn’t bringing anything to the table, why should they eat? Why are you allowing a woman to come around with her short arms and deep pockets? Datnah mek it. As men we need to wise up and rinse our minds of the brainwashing that the media has engulfed our putamen with. Good looks are not everything. So many of us chase after the Delilah’s of this world and then complain when we get bitten. For the sake of your offspring and your legacy it is important you find a woman of substance, remember if you break up with her, it is more than likely your children will be spending most of their time with her.
“You educate a man; you educate a man. You educate a woman; you educate a generation.” — Brigham Young.
That quote speaks volumes. The family is the avenue through which the river of culture and knowledge flows from one generation to another.
When will we learn from our mistakes? When will we learn that we have to protect our future as men? We as men shouldn’t solely be looking for beauty but also looking for what a woman can offer us. It’s as if women have become the new leisure class thanks to impetuous men. The gender roles of yesteryear taught us that men were the ones that were meant to take care of everything and in reward we were given a woman which by the way is a form of objectification. I don’t want to objectify women, no not at all. I want a woman who has some use and so should you. If all a woman has to offer is virgin Brazilian hair and what’s in between her legs; I’m sorry she is not suitable mate to be reproducing with.
Unfortunately we men are to blame for an influx of these type of women. We have inadvertently taught women that beauty and their reproductive ability is all they need to allure a man. You have to ask yourself if a great travesty were to occur in your life, could this woman hold up your fortress? Could she steer the ship?
So many dudes want a woman to submit to them but yet they do not provide any good reason for her to do so. Having meat and two veg is not a prerequisite for a woman to let herself go and allow you to take charge. I for one do not like the word submit, why must a woman have to surrender her will to a man? These are paradigms that were set by the misogynistic men in the times that patriarchy was prevalent. Are you looking for a companion or are you looking for a maid? If you are looking for the latter please ensure that you demonstrate why she should submit to you, demonstrate why you are a superior force and why she should surrender her will to you. If you’re unable to do that when she calls you a foolish goat don’t complain. We as men have to get this idea out of our head that women are property; some still seem to have this ideology, hence some men flash their cash and assume this will be enough to attract a woman and keep her. Sorry mate, your money may be able to make her climax but trust me pal, you’ve got another thing coming.
A woman needs to be useful all on her own, she needs to be able to take care of herself, if not she will inevitably become a parasite and you will be the host which she drains life from.
In closing, I will say a woman who doesn’t attempt to pay on a date is not a woman you should be considering as a potential partner.What made her think it is her inalienable right as a woman to eat/drink for free? Is it not a partnership? Is it not a joint effort? Does she expect to enter a relationship with you and not contribute? The reason why men paid was because women never earned, so it would be ludicrous to go on a date and expect her to pay. First date I believe a man should pay, however on the second date whether you ask her out or not, she should at least flinch or offer to pay. What happened to the words of Pastor Beyonce “Pay my own fun, oh and I pay my own bills, Always 50/50 in relationships… All the women who are independent throw your hands up at me”. Oh it’s funny how for some, the independent charade flies out the window the moment money is involved.
Men, as stated before, we need to stop looking at women as property. If we keep treating them like they are, we can’t complain when they behave as if their aesthetics is all they need to bring to the table. I have heard numerous women say that some men take offence when they offer to pay, why? Does a woman paying for a meal emasculate you? If so, I believe you need to take a trip and visit a psychiatrist. Oh and by the way, some women go on dates for the sheer fun of it, some will go on dates just to stroke their ego.
*Pours some more Liquor for Kobe*.
If you’re looking for someone to complete you, you’ve missed the whole point.
If you’re not following me on twitter my @ is @dearrobtv, I have a book coming out on March 5th 2012 called ‘Lying Fully Clothed: Exposing The Naked Truth About Men’.
Ladies and Gents what are your thoughts on the post? Did Kobe deserve what he got coming to him? Should he have opted for the pre-nup? Do you agree withe aforementioned dynamics on today’s men and women? Speak on it!
Pic Sources: MadameNoire, Fresh Xpress
24 comments on “Bish You Wasn’t With Me When Nepa Took The Light”
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Right now, I’m monitoring the development of human cloning as I would like to give you and your post, an 02 arena stlye standing ovation.
The problem is it will take a while to change the archetypes and consequential stereotypes that have been perpetuated and maintained until about 50 odd years ago.
So all we need now is for certain fossils to catch up on a couple millenia of gender evolution.
Can I wait for it…..hmmmm
willfollow4cash recently posted..Merry New Year
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Love it, in the circumstances Vanessa doesnt deserve to take half but Kobe cheated on her with 200+ women!!! Im sorry but if my man cheated on me with that much I’ll get him where it hurts too…his pockets!
Good post Dear Rob, BWNG keep it moving, liking the collaborative nature of your blog!
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In all fairness, I think she can take half. Mainly because no prenup
Some parts of the post reminds me of a girl who I went on a few dates with. On our first date I offered to pay for dinner when the bill came (credit card out and everything) but she decided to pay instead. I still remember the words she said “we will go out again next week and you can treat me” which lead to a few more dates.
Compared to some girls who I went on dinners dates with seemed to have a whole different mentality. The guy should pay etc, which I don’t have a problem with but don’t preach Destiny’s Child/Beyonce anthems.
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Kobe didn’t have no PRENUP because he was forced to put a ring on Vanessa’s finger.. Her parents threatened statutory rape when he smashed her during her video hoe days (she was underage) and he was an up and coming older athlete, that is why he didn’t have a prenup and that is why Vanessa’s momma is getting a house in the settlement as well. All in all Kobe dug his own grave, whether she and her parents had a MASTER PLAN for his azz, he should have kept his nose clean.
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I tried my hardest not to comment after reading a few paragraphs but after saying ‘oh piss right off’ like 5 times I had to comment. First thing people (regular folk) need to understand is that they are celebrities and to regular folk millions of dollars is a strong desire but not something they acquire. Most of these people spend what most people make in a year at one shopping trip to Prada so please calm down. There are many cases of men and women who divorce and the man/woman has to pay half, its just not on a large scale as this. Half is half, its just in this case half is a huge amount of money, should the law change just because of that?. Please take into account what Kobe is worth before getting angry (IMO) over money you haven’t dealt with or taking it out on a woman you don’t know. No woman deserves to be cheated on over a 100 times, of course we both don’t know the full story but to be honest had Kobe stayed honest and faithful in his marriage this would not be the case. I don’t doubt Vanessa had advisors telling her to wait 10years in order to get half of his money but Kobe shoulda dealt with the issues in his marriage as a man rather than playing slam dunk with numerous women in the Hilton. Let’s not even get started on the rape allegation years back and the fact she tried to leave him years ago but HE bought her love back smh with an expensive ring. They both need to get it together but to put it solely on Vanessa is sick. I do hope the kids in the middle of all this are not badly affected by this. Regarding the Bible reference of course it doesn’t say that but ‘what’s yours is mine and what’s mine is yours’ as well as ‘two becoming one’ are mentioned. A lot of men have allowed their foolish pride to get involved in this matter and that’s sad…rather than worrying about how much money he’s lost how for succeeding in a sport how about the damage he has caused to his family. Lastly Kobe is not poor or homeless…he will still be able to live a more than comfortable life. Do I think she should get that much money no but that’s cos I deal with a different reality but I do know that if kobe was worth $10 million there would not be this much of an uproar from men. This is all a matter of pride and possession. So please take several seats!
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@YhIsaidit2, I wanted to do a praise break after reading this comment….permission to rise from my seat and do one anyway? Granted? Thanks. *does a praise break with a super-size tambourine* *waves white hanky in the air* *resumes seating position* AGREED x 1000%. *exits* *credits* *fade to black*
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@YhIsaidit2, yup… truth. Marriage is an agreement. You AGREE to love and respect one another, support one another and progress through your life as partners. In marriage, its not a matter of whether men and women are equal; but of wanting whats best for your spouse. I think nothing screams disrespect and ill regard like cheating and neglect.
Lets just say if Kobe had handled his business like a REAL husband he wouldn’t be in this situation now. A REAL man respects his wife, cheating for me is the ultimate par.
If Kobe really cared about the money he would have invested in some marriage counselling.
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i call shenanigans on this entire argument (which of course is primarily being shouted from the rooftops by the male folk).
i wonder if y’all feel the same way about guy ritchie taking lots of madonna’s loot?
*crickets*at the end of the day, no one put a gun to kobe’s head to propose and marry without solid advice from a lawyer. hell, no one told him to get married in the state in which spouses are automatically eligible for HALF the assets of the entire marriage.
i’m so tired of men (oh im sorry, people) calling her all sorts of names, when at the end of the day, they ignore the fact that this was a SETTLEMENT which means she COULD have gotten MORE, but they both decided to come an agreement.
i’ll wait for any person to say with a straight face that they would walk away from 75M, when it could have been 120M+.
*more crickets*but hey. y’all are entitled to your opinion. i’ll leave you with the blog post i wish i had written on this topic, but dont have to!
http://www.awesomelyluvvie.com/2012/01/kobe-bryant-lost-75-million-why-are-folks-mad-at-vanessa.html
keisha brown recently posted..the rebuttal: who cheats more – men or women? -
Interesting article. I would just like to state a few things. Kobe decided not to sign a pre-nuptial agreement and the tone of your article is implying that this should be the way forward. This is wrong, the same way you are stating marriage is a social construction so are pre-nuptial agreements and so is the whole idea that now a woman can work and do for her own she has no right to decide to stay at home. Who are we to judge what goes on in a mans home because the failure in a relationship resulted in his wife who has stuck by him for many years. This is the ‘ride or die’ woman that men shout about wanting, stuck through him through his ups and downs, rape allegations and is now demonised because she took half of his assets. Who are you to imply that a woman being in the kitchen, staying at home looking after the kids is ‘outdated or primitive’. All those ideas, including ‘new-age feminism movements’ are also social constructions. A human being should have the choice as to how they want to live their lives, conduct their relationships without being put in a box. Bringing something to the relationship SHOULD not be judged by material wealth which is why their are so many failed relationships in todays society, values are blurred. If a man wants to be a provider and is happy with his wife being at home why not? Kobe has chosen to disrespect his marriage, his children and disgrace this woman publicly. He will be able to move on, as men do. For women it’s not easy being alone with children and to be with a man who will take on those responsibilites. She will also have the children with her, and ultimately the future of the children is what is paramount to both of them. She will be able to give her children the lifestyle he has. What kind of a man would it make him if his woman was left with nothing and his children could see this after he disrespected her. The only reason why this is an issue is because he is a man, and he is of great wealth. If was an ordinary ‘white collar worker’ no one would bat an eyelid and would say yes she deserves half. Unfortunately if that’s his value that’s his value. It is also disgusting because if this was a woman the man would be high-fived.
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Great post. Marriage is taken for a joke these days. Why is Vanessa getting all the heat it was Kobe aswell.
Jessica recently posted..I am and not my hair -
Unfortunately I have to side with Vanessa bryant on this one for two reasons.
1. There was no prenup and when there is no prenup siggned if you divorce you get half. Simples.
2. Kobe has long been a dog and Vanessa forgave him, hence the picture with them at the fess conference. This dude put this woman through a lot of crap with his dirty dogging ways and finally she had had enough. It’s not all about money, she could have all the pairs of red bottoms, lv and Berlin bags but if you love your man and you know he’s sticking his thing in other women that life is not so sweet.
Do I think she did anything worth 75m? Hell no, but she went through a lot of emotional grief because of him so in the words of Eddie murphy “HALF!!!” -
I thought this would be the cliche Bryant vs. Bryant post, and I guess half of it was. However, I appreciated the part where you got real with it:
“So many of us chase after the Delilah’s of this world and then complain when we get bitten. For the sake of your offspring and your legacy it is important you find a woman of substance, remember if you break up with her, it is more than likely your children will be spending most of their time with her.”
I like it when men realize that they have a part to play in mate selection, and that they can’t merely cry victim when things don’t go their way. After all, you lot are quick to call women out for that. I can’t speak to Vanessa’s character because I literally didn’t know of her existence before the drama that took place a few years ago, and haven’t given her a second thought until this new batch. In general, however, men need to put more stock into relationship investments with women who bring something to the table beyond the physical.
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wow, ok, lol. very thorough, enjoyed that read, interesting issues within the article.The general message you’re giving to both men and women =truths. lol
The issue between kobe and his partner, i actually couldnt care less. lol.
Goodtimes, thanks for that read do come again!
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Won’t lie, when I heard that you were collaborating with theBWNG, I groaned inside. Not a fan of your work/viewpoints per sé, but there were definitely some points that I agreed with towards the latter end of the post. I definitely believe that a woman should bring something to the table, and men that simply marry for aesthetic reasons are backwards, clearly they don’t want their home to blossom.
Also, I agree with the statements echoed above, nobody knows their relationship, and to be honest why should we care about how much money she got. I see a failed marriage and that’s gonna be rougher than any monetary exchange can quantify.
Just wanted to clear up your statement r.e. the biblical standpoint of marriage. Yes, marriage was constructed and ordained from the Bible. The purpose of marriage is to mirror the marriage of Jesus Christ (God) and the Church (His people). Just the same way Jesus gave His life, so a man is to give his life for his wife (not literally, if you can avoid it lol, but it’s THAT deep). Similarly, the woman is called to submit – people get soo hung up over this word (Christians too), but if your husband is loving you to the extent that Christ loves us, this will NOT be difficult. Eph 5:22-33 can explain it better
This is our goal, and we fail, but Jesus is the perfect demonstrator of this love and what it should look like. Apologies if I’ve gone off on one, but divorce was never in God’s plan (some cases it is necessary), but that wasn’t what He intended for us.Thanks for an interesting read.
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Hi, I just found this blog and find it funny…so I thought I will add my two pence here…
Thank you! Its not often you find Nigerian men with sense(I am a Nigerian woman…I know what I am talking about!)
I don’t agree with some of the things you said yes(please why is he cheating? She should even leave him with nothing…good for nothing monkey!lol), but I am proud to see a Nigerian man who has gotten over his nonsense of women staying at home and expecting a woman to “submit” to him like she is a slave. The patriarchal society that we live in and the media have allowed women who do nothing but look pretty to get places in life; after all I bet Kobe wasn’t marrying her for her brain now was he?When a woman choices not to waste her education(that she has worked her ass for by the way since the age of 5…if you want a housewife marry an illiterate!) and makes the choice of not married to the house, she is seen as a witch and as a stupid guy once said to me “a man without a dick” because she wants to earn her own bread…men need to realise that the majority of REAL women in the world grew up listening to DC and fully believe that you should not live off a man…those men stupid enough to go for airhead women have it coming to them(don’t ever get it twisted that these women cannot see the fools who want to be a pile of gold to line their purses and will target them quickly) no sympathy from me to Kobe. Also what about Madonna who’s ex husband more than took half of her money…YES DON’T FORGET THE WASTE MAN WHO IS A GOLDIGGER AS WELL PEOPLE!
jade77830 recently posted..How Not To Heal A Broken Heart: 2) Dwelling On The Past
HELL YES! So she damn well should get half!! Noone knows about their relationship, so God knows if she was in the relationship for the long run and thus saw no need to sign anything and he obviously agreed. But if FOOL thought he was slick enough to play games without getting court, then he’s got more money than brains!