Its pretty a scary prospect for the modern man with the ever increasing unemployed figures, coupled with inflating living costs, it is probably the worst time for brothers to be riding solo. Wale told us that “they are going to love me for my ambition”, but I am not too sure that is the case, especially after the #£100K saga on Twitter a few weeks ago. For those who might have missed it, there was a young lady who seemed to disregard every man who would be content in earning below 100k. Not that I am a man who is easily swayed by status quo, but there was some truth in her expectations, she just happened to put a number against those expectations which made it subjective.

The story continued as I recently met a young lady in a public place and within a matter of minutes our conversation turned into what I do and if I lived by myself. Now personally I could not tell where this conversation was going and why she might have felt that it was of importance to know such details. In fact this was not the first time that such questions were asked in conversation with females. Whereas we (men) tend to ask questions like “have you got a man?” or “what’s your BBM pin?”, it seems as though with the “gyal them” employment, status and place of residence are key on the agenda.

So I wonder, would women be content with having a househusband or dating a person who was unemployed for a considerably long time?

I decided to put this out to my homegirls – many of which are working women who are doing relatively well for themselves if you asked me-.

Responses:

“House husband if it made sense Maybe, unemployed for no good reason and no prospect of change? No” – Home Girl 1

“I would have a problem if he was unemployed by choice?” - Home Girl 2

“Depends on why they are unemployed…but I would absolutely support a partner in difficult circumstances” – Home Girl 3

“As long as he is looking for a job…then yeah” - Home Girl 4

“If we were together and he lost his job that’s cool, but I wouldn’t date him from being unemployed” – Home Girl 5

On second thoughts maybe Wale might have been right to an extent. The general consensus seems to be that if unemployment was due to unfortunate circumstances then most women would stick by their man, but it is not a situation which they will ideally want to go into from the start. That is understandable seeing as most men wouldn’t exactly be attracted to a woman who looks like she has let herself go a bit but are not necessarily going to break up with their Mrs if she happens to be out of shape all of a sudden. But when it comes to the issue of unemployment why is it that it is a bigger problem for the fairer sex and not for men?

Is it socially engineered that women feel that a relationship with an unemployed partner is not sustainable? Who wrote the rulebook saying that it is okay for men to be the breadwinner? Now most women nowadays would be more than happy to contribute, and rightly so, but a woman’s employment status has never been a problem for men, when it comes to dating women.

My theory is that it seems as though when women say they like a man with “ambition” they are actually referring to a man with a realistically attainable vision for the future. They are therefore happy to weather the storm, because they know the good times are on the way.

Most women have grown up as “daddy’s girls” and when getting married, it’s almost symbolic how the father gives away the bride to the groom. This therefore means that dude is now taking that father role, where if the situation gets beyond her capabilities she wants to be in a position where she could turn to her husband, as she would have to daddy in her youth. In fact most women want a man with a backbone, hence why “Take Me out” contestants always gets lights out when the guy’s mother comes on the screen to expose that he is a mummy’s boy.

Also another thing that has to be taken into consideration is what happens when the woman becomes pregnant? In saying all this, I have recently read an article which suggested that the number of househusbands are on the rise in the UK.  For some reason I have a feeling that is not happening in the communities that I grew up in.

It seems as though I can start to understand why some women may feel that it is not a sustainable relationship to be with a man who doesn’t seem to be able to bring in some income, but I just fail to understand why in an era where we preach about equality, that men and women have different attitudes towards the issue. Is the attitude dependent of cultural or economic backgrounds? Dudes, how comfortable would you be as a househusband?

Ladies and brothers, I would love to hear your thoughts.

The Yak

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