Cockblockin’ 101
As my brother @TheYakBWNG always tells me “the game is f*cked up” and a just a few weeks ago I witnessed first hand just how messed up it is. I’ve seen it coming for some time now, ever since the emergence of new skool R&B (Rhythm & Badmind) where guys now tell ladies things like “I’m just saying you can do better” and women come up with equally below the belt replies (damn you Marvin, hater!!!).
Its Dog eat Dog out here and nobody plays by the rules anymore. I know most people are thinking ‘cock blocking has been going on since the beginning of time you should be used to it’, that I am, but damn! people are getting brave these days and I’m pissed off let me give you the 411.
picture this but I'm more smooth and the cockblocker is more ugly
I’m by the bar talking to a fine honey, feeling all smooth and ish (whether she thought so is a different story) and in my zone. Conversation is flowing, I’m getting smiles and blushes feeling like a brother is making progress. Then boom out of the blue some next chick (the ugly friend) comes and stands right next to her, looks me dead in the eye, turns to her friend and says “who’s that?”.
At this point alarm bells start ringing in my head (cock block alert) and she proceeds to do what most professional cock blockers do in this situation, make a series of statements like she never saw a brother talking and anybody asked her a question. “ We been looking for you” (I dont see no we fool just you) and “Everyone has gone upstairs they are playing [insert preferred genre of music]”. Then what came next was the ultimate par, she grabbed her friend by the arm in a subtle smooth motion and got ready to start moving. The lady I was speaking to now hits me with the bombshell “It was nice meeting you I got to dash, will catch up with you later” and they left. All of a sudden I felt like any guy standing alone by the bar drinking his drink like he came by himself as my boys had wandered off to go get their groove on wherever it was all popping off.
This is CockBlocking at its finest, the the second biggest enemy ( just slightly behind being put in the friends zone) that a BWNG can face. So here I am a couple of weeks and many “fam I was in there trust me’s” later talking about the immense evil which is the cock blocker. There are three categories of cockblockin…
The Haters Cock Block (Jealousy)
This is the jealous person who is often a member of your own team and doesn’t wanna see you score like dude in the American football video. Its the person I described in the first example. They are usually pissed off because nobody has hollered at them all night or just thrive off the misery of others. Your boys do it to you too lets not get it twisted and its usually linked with some form of jealousy possibly birthed by a lack of self confidence or rejection earlier in the night. Sometimes these “statements” they drop may just be true but often its just wickedness and sabotage in disguise.
Ever had your boy come up to you and tell you he’s tired while you’re talking to a female? Does your friend come up to you while you’re talking and ask if you want a drink only to return with it and never leave? Look out for the signs as they could throw a spanner in the works at any time and mess up your ish; so if you hear the following statements from your friend early in the night, be warned.
- “These girls are stoosh man, they think they are too nice” (bitter brother).
- “I dont like the vibe in here” (even though the rave is clearly banging)
- or the legendary “I’m tired” (a get out of jail card to announce you’rE leaving and so should all of us at any time).
The Attempted Interception (Competitive)
In the video above Cristiano Ronaldo had dazzled the Spain defence with skill and flair, beat the keeper with the ball on route to the net only for Nani (hater) to try to steal a man’s limelight by tapping in a ball which was already on route to goal. God was watching and so was the linesman so Nani who intentionally didn’t celebrate because he knew what he was doing was flagged offside and had to check himself, but poor Ronaldo was…. boy you can see. This is what we call the attempted interception:
When another dude wants to capitalise on your hard work and muscle in to get the tap in which is in total violation of the Man Code.
The main protagonist of this is usually the wannabe baller who might lean over your shoulder with a champagne bottle or a glass asking if she wants some while you’re talking; or the sweetboy Drake brother who will just stand real close and try to play a game of who will blink first with the lady in question on some LL Cool J I’ma lick my lips any second vibe. Its a sad world and these people piss me off, especially the arrogant ones who insist on showing off and dead my vibe; the next one who does this to me I’m gonna do a Riley!!
The Unintentional Cockblock
The only cockblock which is legal according to the code is this one. We all have one person in our group who specialises in being awkward and saying silly things. Well this person actually has an identical affect of the traditional Cock Blocker. They can come over and say something so dumb that the person you are talking to might start to think “If that’s your friend, I aint down”. They can make a situation better by giving you something to laugh about or kill it all with a cringe worthy statement like an over eager “Bruv she’s buff, excuse me do you have any friends?”. If you know your friend well enough you will know whether they are just genuinely stupid or trying to be a pro Cock Blocker in disguise.
So thats my pain peeps can you relate? Did you experience being 15 and organising group linkages when all of a sudden the person who never hooked up with someone miraculously fell ill or started being rude and caused beef? Do you witness grown people repeating similar tactics? Let us know.
Peace out!
Don Kwelu
Follow the BWNG on Twitter @TheBWNG and join our facebook page ‘Brothers With No Game’
18 comments on “Cockblockin’ 101”
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@Teddy, I was expecting a no homo after the “I have blocked a few cocks…” haha just kidding.
Don,
I can honestly say I have never cockblocked in my life, I just don’t understand the science behind it. It can be understandable if you both liked then chick and you subliminally drop a couple of bars to paint a negative picture of the competition, but the Hater cockblocker I.e.: the American footballer (hahaha) that’s yooooung!
Nice one
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Rule #25 “Back the F Up” A man must vacate within 30 seconds from the moment he first detects any sexual chemistry between a mate and a female. No cockblocking!
http://www.brotherswithnogame.com/man-codelawscommandmentsrules/
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I can relate my brother. I abore, detest and ridicule cockblockers.
We need to put them on the same level as snitches… ‘You can’t move to here because we’re friends.. fool she don’t rate you’
You have to role with a strong team or a strategic team. Check it, I prefer dark skin, size 10 women with dimples because backs offs and baby fat turns into something else post 30. Yet my boy Mr. Grey loves his milk of magnesia, hair like the sun type chicks but we always play the wing man for each other and fool any potential cockney blockers into thinking we have a slight interest.
Don your a reflection of your team, hence why your a BWNG
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cockblockers have meetings, on Thursdays, i believe, where they all convene and dedicate an hour of their cockblocking life to discuss their methods and techniques of how to cockblock their friends and/or someone who likes their friend.
usually you will find that these people are the ugly/fat/socially retarded ones in their friendship group, with little to no game to speak of.
They are the one in the crew that everyone asks, “who brought them?”
they are the ones usually so hungry for a guy/girl that they’ll gladly play their position (heskey) until their target gives in to the persistence and gives them a little taste.only to return the following week (after their meeting) with all new and improved methods of cockblocking you.
we as brothers with game need to stand up and unite against this plague.
Personally the ugly friend cockblocking has always been a pet peeve, this is why when i see a fine girl standing with her ugly friend, i take the cockblocker of our crew and tell him he’s my wingman, hungry brothers have no choice, beggers can’t be choosers etc etc, and voila, problem solved…..
thank me later (no drake)
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I once had to pull a cockblock when on a link with a girl went to the bathroom and left her at the bar. I came downstairs and saw a next brother occupying my seat trying to talk to her, while my drink was still there.I dealt with that grave jump by returning to the bar grabbing another chair and asking her if he was her brother..GAME OVER!
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Yes, ladies do this often, but it’s not always cock-blocking!
Most groups of young females going out together will devise a signal to alert their friends when they are being harrassed or even just chatted up by someone they are not interested in. They have a special signal for their friend to come and ‘resuce’ them. It may be something so subtle you wouldn’t even notice, but this is usually the reason why the ‘cock-blocking’ friend appears from no where to stop your game!
I’d say 9 times out of 10 the lady has given the signal and her friend is on a rescue mission answering the distress call of her friend, not a cock-blocking mission!-
@Kit,
Totally agree with this Kit. Girls do not usually cock block each other (my girls anyway) it is usually a standard rescue mission where you have to take the hit as a “hater” in order to ensure your friend is cooltrust me there is no way a woman is leaving an interesting conversation for some tuneage not if she saw it going somewhere. And even IF she did, once the song is done she would be sure to make her way back to find you
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This is funny. I was talking with an old link on the weekend and recalled a time when one of my friends tried cockblocking after a drink up I had. I had introduced him to said girl a few years early and he always liked her but knew me and her were FWB.
At this drink up everyone filtered home apart from me, her and of course him. He sat there for at least 30 mins while we awkwardly watched nonsense TV at 3am before he finally decided to leave. He actually laughed and called me a bastard through gritted teeth at the door. That right there is a perfect definition of attempted cockblocking, luckily it wasn’t a new link I was dealing with or I would have had to read myself to sleep!
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‘All of a sudden I felt like any guy standing alone by the bar drinking his drink like he came by himself as my boys had wandered off to go get their groove on wherever it was all popping off’
Worst is when you know your boys are in the SAME damn place they have just gone to! What do you do? Go over to your ppl and look like you following the chicks? Or hold tight on your own haha
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I’m definitely the awkward friend! I’ve blocked a few cocks intentionally ( I was young!) but try not to do it anymore.Great post guys!