I love comedy, seriously speaking I could sit in front of the TV for 48 straight hours watching nothing but sitcoms (I’ve done it before), it aids my insanity and provides a get-out clause amongst the BS that life tends to bring. I’ll take Frasier over not being accepted for a job because I’m overqualified, any day of the week.

And stand-ups? Well it goes without saying; Eddie Murphy: Raw is the blueprint for life let alone comedy. This being said I recognise whack comedy when I see it and for the fear of it not living up to my expectations and the standard Chris Rock had set on Bigger and Blacker, I had demonstrated a true exhibition of procrastination which lasted 18 months or so in watching his latest stand-up “Kill The Messenger”.

It’s not that I didn’t have belief in his ability but when you raise the bar so high like Rock did with Bigger & Blacker, Never Scared and Bring The Pain, it’s very rare that you can equal it or even top it, especially if you’ve had a hiatus. Whitney Houston, Arsenal, Jonny Wilkinson and the cast of the Matrix know what I’m talking about.

Nevertheless I finally decided to give it a watch and like I imagined it wasn’t as good as it could’ve been HOWEVER the last 10 minutes was an undeniable moment of genius. He dropped a line so true, so funny and so perfect that I came out of my comfort zone and started talking to the screen. For when he started the sentence ‘One of the biggest differences between men and women is” I did not forsee the amazing statement that followed

“Men cannot go backwards sexually, Women cannot go backwards in lifestyle”

Boom! Genius. Once a man has reached certain levels of sexual pleasure with a woman, he will NOT want anything less…it’s unthinkable, unrealistic…impossible. This is one particular moment when women will be justified in the universal diss that “men think with their d*cks”. Yes…yes we do…kinda.

Call me a pig but I for one find it difficult to get with a woman who doesn’t/refuses to have oral sex, not only would I be shocked that they still make these women in 2010 but it would be a huge (yes huge) step down from previous relationships/encounters of a pleasurable kind. For I have not been without head in the last decade and such have been the advancements and variations in what I have received (smiles) I would be insulted (yet still grateful) by a girl who pulls her mouth away at the last minute let alone a non-head giver.

Women are the same when it comes to lifestyle; they love to be treated like the princesses and queens they are. If they’re used to being wined and dined at fancy restaurants, being taken on holidays, men with their own cars and houses and/or receiving expensive gifts etc then going backwards with their next partner would be out of the question, right? If I’m wrong (which I hope I am but I’m probably not) then there can be no argument that the woman will expect it in the near future, by near I mean ASAP. I have been on the bad end of the stick in this case before so I know….Oh how I know.

What I don’t know is a guy or girl within my circle the universe who can truly say they’ve been backwards or can accept going backwards in those particular instances…it’s inconceivable. Those that do go backwards are more than likely to be the ones who cheat…which then reconfirms that they can’t go backwards. Maybe I’m reading too much into things (which I hope I am but I’m probably not) and have forgotten that there are those who are willing to compromise for the sake of losing a prospective relationship.

Or maybe Chris Rock got it spot on and our mindset is always forward thinking.

PS: I just realised that my argument could be flawed by the prospect of being in a relationship with a virgin…damnit!

I’m gone like Coleen Rooney…who am I kidding, she isn’t going nowhere!

JC

What say you good readers of BWNG. Can men go backwards sexually? Can women go backwards in lifestyle? What moments in sex and lifestyle have stopped you from ever going backwards? Did the title make you think this was going to be a motivational post? Speak on it!