They say sex sells and I agree; and if you don’t you’re living in the 60’s, sex can sell absolutely anything. I figure soon we will reach the point where only sexy Jehovah’s witnesses turn up at your door to boost the sign up rate, Porn channels will be on terrestrial TV and commercials for KFC will have chicks booty popping whilst singing the chicken song planting subliminals ”eat KFC and get a booty like this”.

I can safely say the world has gone absolutely mad and it’s full of hypocrites. Richard Keys was sacked for asking Jamie “Did you smash it?” on TV, I’m baffled! I ask Maverick, JC and The Yak that all the time and up until now I haven’t heard any discontent from the public. You hear banter like that all the time from people in bars to random storytellers on the train to little school kids at the bus stop nicknamed “Sniper” or “Bullet Wound”. Meanwhile the same people complaining are happy to look at the cute women on Sky Sports presenting the football like she isn’t there just so the perverts of our society can drool over them. Explain the new woman replacing Carol on Countdown; it’s a madness….Grandma doesn’t dig her in the slightest; I think she’s boycotting now. Why not go for an ex-pro female footballer with a nose like Chris Eubank or give Racheal Yankey a slot for goodness sake and let a sister get paid for presenting footy or let the nerdy looking girl or women over 65 do the letters on Countdown, that’s their audience after all. Face it sex sells and we are all in denial pretending we don’t buy from the pimp, you don’t believe me?

The simplest way for me to illustrate my point is to use music because it is unfortunately where the majority of younger people of today find their idols. I know some of you are thinking that that’s not true we have Obama, doctors, accountants, poets, teachers, authors and scientists but please remember you are in the minority of sensible people in this stupid world. Before I begin I don’t want to hear the following statements of a hating nature after you have read this article “Why is her booty all up in my screen?” “put some clothes on” “Why is it that to be big you have to sell out and act hoe-ish?” This is all sex music! This is usually followed by random statements of “I only listen to Neo Soul; you know Jill Scott, Floetry some Maxwell”. Why are you acting like they are all that different? I’m with Katt Williams again and agree all of them are pimps!

I say they’re all selling the same thing and we are all buying, we just buy from different sources and our supplier generally says a lot about us as people. Below I will list four sets of pimps and pimpettes who I will nominate as representatives of their group. This is not an assignation of character, just an observation.

The Stank Hoe

Pimp Philosophy

Now this may strike as a little harsh but it’s just my opinion people, I didn’t shoot anybody (on purpose) and this is what I think of them. You see as a well travelled man I have seen my sights including bedrooms and backseats of cars and have grasped a vast amount of knowledge and information about hoes. And I quote…. “Hoe is not just a verb or a label acquired from merely participating in randomly frequent sexual activities hoe is a lifestyle which attempts to create financial gain using SEX“; sometimes to live this lifestyle to its maximum you may need fake titties or a fake booty *cough Minaj cough* to succeed. Sally, who’s banged everyone in the ends isn’t a hoe, she is either a freak who lacks self control, nasty or being emotionally manipulated; these ladies however are pros. Everything about them oozes sex and with the stank hoe it is totally visible and impossible to hide.

Signs of the Stank

• Titties are usually clearly visible or booty is at maximum percolation levels (whichever asset is best) at ALL times.
• Has very little morale conflict in matters of the sacredness of the body and often strongly justifies the use of maximising ones assets, as without her physical assets she generally feels insignificant herself.
• Probable glorification of all success earned by other members of the Stank Hoe collective e.g Katie Price, Kim K and Superhead.
• Bragging of how good her sh*t is even though nobody asked her.

Pimp Quotes

Minaj may have won in the ‘who got better cosmetic surgery’ contest but Kim wins for hoe lyrics hands down. Those dedicated Kim fans who switched sides making Minaj look like the new owner of rap’s biggest hoe competition, please don’t forget that. That’s why Kim is beefing her, talking bout “you stole my swag” yeah right…its for the title its not about rap. “Stank recognise Stank”.

“Id rather be dead and rich than broke and living Without rap i’d probably be selling dope in prison with some Vil wing kakhis(baffed) and Zanoki chucks sucking the warden dick in the back of the bus” – Lil Kim, This is who I am (La bella Mafia)

“Didn’t you know Lil Kim got that ill deep throat, they wanna know what I’m all about as I make a sprite can disappear in my mouth” - Lil Kim, The Jump Off

“You thought the sprite can was off the meter imagine what I do with 2 litre”

Click the next page below for pimped number 2

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