Keeping Up With The Stereotypes
First things first I Poppa, freaks all the honeys we’re not racist we love black people, hell we are black! So to all sensitives, black panthers, OFCOM enthusiasts and people who take insult to anything controversial, lighten up, it’s not a shot at our race but a shot at those who continuously live up to negative stereotypes including ourselves. Indeed even in 2011 we are still yet to rid ourselves of predictable stereotypes; from a brother who expects discount from another brother just because he’s a brother to a group of black people who individually hate on each other but unify when their race is threatened. Sometimes its a given, tolerated, but there’s some we need to let go! BWNG decided to chime in on some…
PS: This post was scheduled for 2010, it is now June 2011, Black People Timing, victims of our own post, which leads us straight into…
Black People Time: “The almost innate ability for black people to come later than scheduled”
I have to admit, I was once a victim of BPT, but I realised that excuse was no longer viable when we literally missed one of our closest friends’ wedding. The thing that gets me the most about Black People Time is that people wear it like a badge of honour. Be it a wedding or a funeral there is always one brother or sister that would come walking in half way through the ceremony with no previous warning of their lateness, shamelessly shouting “you know how we do”.
Rendezvous at 3PM..
*Get a text at 3.25PM: “I am 5 minutes away”*
*4.15PM Phone is going Voicemail*
*Get a text at 4.20PM, “You man sorry, I think I am running late!”*
The brother had the audacity to say “I think”. Well, I think I have may figured out the three reasons behind BPT.
1) Black people don’t like looking too eager for anything, God knows where this comes from but it is true. We always want to be the ones that didn’t need to attend, but shifted their busy schedule to show up. Plus we know how rumours start in the hood. “You know Jerome was the first one in the queue for some free Chicken at Nandos”
2) We don’t like being victims. Somewhere in history it has been embedded in us that we shall never be victims of any circumstance, so we aim to outdo the ‘nigga’ness by avoiding the situation where we are the ones on time that had to wait for hours.
Guy #1: “where are you fam?”
Guy #2: “I am on my way, where are you?”
Guy #1: “Don’t watch that let me know when you get there”
3) We love image. Nobody remembers the first person that came to the party, but they remember that one that came late and how fly he or she looked. Either way, this is not a sustainable stereotype and one that we need to overcome quickly before it’s too late.
Bad Customer Services at Black businesses: “The lack of empathy and custom from Black business”
The weird thing about this is that this is never an issue with Black businesses in other countries that I have been in. When I went to Africa, I was treated like a king and the level of custom was Zamunda-esque. I have also heard stories of people getting impeccable customer service in the West Indies. So why is it when a brother feels a little peckish and wants to go to his local black takeaway to get some rice and peas with jerk chicken, we get morally, sometimes verbally abused to the point where we don’t know whether we are coming or going? The Real McCoy sketch below –although exaggerated – is testament to the lack of customer service many of us have experienced in our communities.
We still go back though…
Black People are Hostile
This stereotype is quite true in some respects and some black people are proud of it. The stereotype “most black people are aggressive” is something I personally can’t subscribe to due to the fact I was raised in an African household. I can fully understand the decibel level my mother communicates at may be received as aggressive by the postman, bank manager etc although I know she means no harm and its more a cultural way of communication…not aggression.
However there are others who tend to be hostile without a doubt…try talking to strangers and tell me how it goes. If a woman likes another woman’s dress, hair or whatever and as a result looks at it for more than 5 seconds, she is very likely to be able to lip-read the following. “Who is this bitch looking at?” “Hell no this chick aint looking at me!?”. Or the famous ‘turning around and looking to see if there’s anything she may be looking at except you’ move. In the case of men staring for too long, 50% of the time results in fights 25% police intervention 10% a crime watch scene or yellow board appeal for witnesses and this is usually because we are so hostile to each other and never get to know each other before we already dislike each other.
The ability to recite the ‘R’ word even when it has nothing to do with the situation
There is no doubt racism is a major problem in society and black people suffer from a lack of opportunities as a result (if you cite Obama to me you have been bamboozled beyond belief and have no understanding of politics…). However we can still make major moves, and these are not the days of Kunta Kente where your skin colour effects EVERYTHING; but for some reason some of us seem to blame every problem we have on racism regardless of relevance. Example
Andre “Fam how comes you are a substitute today? I thought you would be playing, are you injured?”
Tunde “Nah g, this manager’s a d*ckhead blood, he’s on a racism ting”
Andre “But isn’t Tyrone the captain of the team? I swear he’s black, and Kwame, Richard and Leon too”
Tunde “That’s what I’m saying g, them man are bounties”
WOW!
DELUXE WEAPON EDITION
Fight Club
“Everytime black people wanna have a good time, ignorant ass n*****s try to f*** it up” – Chris Rock
There are times in a club/bar when you do the candy dance because the Candy song is on and there are times when you do the candy dance to dodge a fight. When beef is about to pop off, you move left to your friend on your left to notify them that some dudes are about to square up and you do the same to the friend on your right, then you move back a couple steps to leave space for what’s about to happen, then you bend forward then back to duck and dodge the likely bottle that’s about to fly your way, then you lift your leg up and turn a ninety degree angle to step over the body of the dude/girl who got knocked the f*** out.
Yet why do we need to do this in the first place? Sure beef happens in all parties with people of all different races but the biggest differentiation between certain black people and the rest at times is that particular brothers come to rave JUST FOR BEEF! most of the time they don’t even have a motive. I’m baffed! They come in screwing, the party dress code is casual/smart yet their dress code is war, young mentality with civil rights faces thinking “I wish a n**** would”. I try to imagine what their converstion was before hand.
45 mins earlier…
Guy 1: I’m bored bruv
Guy 2: Me too, Pro Evo is a bit dead right now
Guy 3: I’ve already laid down a track for the crew, so I aint got nothing to do
Guy 1: The potential Mrs is in Napa. This is dead! Come we hit that Blackberry vs iPhone vs HTC vs iPad vs Playbook vs Nokia vs Microsoft vs iMac vs Toshiba rave up down central, true say man wants to fight
Guy 3: Yeaaaah bruv, bare moist man’s in tight polo’s, lets deal with the matter
Guy 2: I wish a n**** would touch me with his Gucci scarf and Ralph polo, I wish a n**** would
We need to erase this stereotype…quickly
The Mandingo Thing “once you go black you go black…you end up in a wheel chair”
Now why this would want to be a stereotype that any one for that matter would want to perpetuate is beyond me…however it seems to be a stereotype which exist nevertheless, especially in a society where everything is over sexualised; and as per usual the brothers of this world have chosen to be at the forefront of A&E. How true the black man being well hung below is really up for debate amongst women and women only…any man engaging in such conversation is in full breach of the man code…However let me take a minute to market myself to the ladies…
Hi my name is Mr B…and once you go B you end up in Ward C because of Brother D and I can only speak for me
Ok back to the post, it seems the brothers of our generation love this particular stereotype and endorse it at any chance available …”you know what they say about black guys, na wat I’m sayin?..I know u knw what i’m sayin” The only thing from this I gathered is a lack of grammar…You know what I’m saying?..lol…some have gone as far as to say it’s the reason why they walk around with their jeans sagged down or they don’t wear skinny jeans ‘cause their “nuts” don’t fit… It’s not a bad stereotype however its the manner in which we perpetuate this which for me is an issue…I’m a firm believer that formal trousers should be accompanied with a belt, anything otherwise for me is just bush.
William: Hey can I borrow a belt? was in a rush and forgot to put one on
Dalvin: Mate I don’t need a belt when I’m rolling with Mandingo
Like come on …Sadness
And that’s all we got to say about that, peace out, we’re gone like Jane Norman
BWNG
Have we been able to breakaway from stereotypes? Why are others messing things up for the rest of us? How many times did we use the word n****? Anymore stereotypes to add? Speak on it!
19 comments on “Keeping Up With The Stereotypes”
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As a white person I am comforted by the fact that black people also receive bad service at black takeaways. I thought it was because they didn’t want my evil white man money!!
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@BNT, LOL! Nah, Black takeaways believe in equal opportunities, we ALL get the same treatment
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The one thing that now annoys me about Black People Time is that I now have to tell my friend who has BPT syndrome to meet up at least 30mins to a Hour before our ACTUAL meeting time. As I know for a fact they would turn up to my original time ON TIME as they would be late!
This Post is TOO funny. I remember going to a West Indian Takeaway and they literally slammed the money down at me and looked at me like i should be lucky to be served by them. When I said I wanted no gravy I got a look like I said their mother was a W****
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This post had me laughing and cringing at the same time.
There are some great, punctual, non violent, softly spoken, non mandingo boasting, non race card playing people out there!
The food shops though I must agree, there is no such thing as service with a smile or the customer is always right in these places, and the thing that really pisses me off is that if you go there at 6pm guaranteed that certain dishes will have run out! You can’t get any plantain or rice and peas, I just don’t know how they stay open lol! Running out of dishes so quickly.
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Funny but true post! BPT is a major issue. I put in a lot effort to be prompt, but I ain’t gonna lie, I’m always 5 mins away when I get called up! The black on black customer service shocks me till this day. Concessions at Selfridges and House of Fraiser are getting better, but the takeaway service is out of this world. Its like you have to ask the question “Don’t you want my money”??
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Hahahahaha!! This post is the word… Preach it!! We are black sisters living in Nigeria, and while it is true that we show each other love over here, we are still shoved hastily to the back door when someone whose skin is even remotely white, walks in. Okay not just white, red stands a great chance as well.
Most of our brothers here have been so influenced by TV or their visits to the USA, they begin to perpetuate all you have listed above.
About BPT, hahahaha… Even the ladies do that here. Strike that, ESPECIALLY the ladies do it here. It is crazy. We call it “african time”.
Wonderful post, brothers!!! Keep preaching!!!! -
It’s so sad and yet so true. However, I have to agree with Diva. It is practically same in african countries too. I also live in Nigeria. I have had occasions when I actually had to walk up to the sales person to say “Listen, I am not begging to buy from you. I am bringing in cash to feed you. So it is either you drop the attitude or you lose my patronage”. The customer services can sometimes fluctuate between zero to none.
BPT… Hahahahahaaa!!! The question people would ask is “haba, do you want to help them sweep the floors and then open the doors? Wait jor. An hour late is appropriate”.
It ticks me off as I’m a stickler for time. Lol. So the stereotype extends to blacks in africa too. And yeah, go get the award brothers! -
“this is usually because we are so hostile to each other and never get to know each other before we already dislike each other.”
bra-bloody-vo
that line right there encompasses the reasoning behind a lot of the issues surrounding black people/black youth.
this ignorance we have toward not only eachother, but other races too drives me up the wall. the lack of general curiosity about culture and background is a cancer which we’ve inflicted upon ourselves.
DEFENDED by the line…..”it’s a black thing”….and that makes all of the mentioned perception in this post ok??…some people desperately need to realise that hiding behind the colour of your skin is the most pathetic form of cop-out there is.
loved this post, as always.
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I am really not feeling fashion as I think that unless it’s cold u should not be wearing a scarf even if it is Gucci, unless you’ve had your throat cut out due to throat cancer & your hiding your scars. As for skinny jeans if your male and wearing them good for you, as you only do johnny Bravo workout in the gym (only bench press) & don’t play football on Sunday. Let’s hope ya’ll don’t have a yeast infection or sperm damage or sweaty balls for the sake of any woman you may be with. On BMT or BPT as you call it as ladies are pate too (damn often) you forgot to mention those who just can’t help it those people whos clocks and watches are set 30 minutes early and are still late. Maybe there should be a national data base of brothers and sisters who bring beef to clubs (except to guys wearing Gucci scarf). I wonder if their is a correlation between bad service and good food in black takeaway’s ie the better the service the worse the food is?
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9rxDsqhgCJc
1:44
“White people Hope things don’t go wrong”
“Black people don’t hope, we wish, we wish a motherfucka would be in our shit”
Unfortunately, I myself have been guilty of thinking rude thoughts when catching a female staring at me longer than necessary, shameful, I’ll look into changing that
Great post!
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Who exactly are you trying to impress by not ‘living up to the stereotypes? White people? Any non-black person? People are the way they are, they are often but not always products of their environment, and of course their parental upbringing…Unless someone is actively going out and saying “I’m going to act out every single black stereotype today!” then they are just being themselves…unlike those that actively have to try to not ‘live up to the stereotypes.
I don’t fit many ‘black stereotypes’ like any other black person on the internet can claim of course; I don’t try to do this but I am the way I am. I wont try to act any way to impress anyone so that they’re comfortable around the ‘black guy’. I make too much money to care about what random people think to be perfectly honest with you.
Anyways I am droning on here; my point if not clear is who are you trying to impress when you I assume actively try not to live up to the stereotypes?
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If you don’t win an award next month, WE RIOT! Brilliant!