Pride: “A feeling of elation or satisfaction at achievements or qualities or possessions that do one credit”

When it comes to relations between Men and Women there are two surprising themes to contend with that can progress or decline chances of them working…Pride and Prejudice.

Pride provides the backbone of a man; if he doesn’t have the money, the car or the DVD box-set of The Wire at least he has Pride. It builds confidence, it builds character and it demands credit. HOWEVER Pride also builds hard-headedness in relations of any kind which leads to bitchassness and results in befoolery (that makes sense?).

Prejudice: “A preconceived opinion”

What doesn’t make sense  is that rather than us being too strong to have our pride damaged, we are too PROUD to have our pride damaged and rightly so, sheeeeeit. As if we aren’t open to mistakes, we’ve become so stubborn in our stance for pride that we become self-prejudice if that wall we create is breached. We deem ourselves a bitch and become vulnerable to prejudism from our female contingent, not prejudism towards men but rather a man with perceived flaws in his repertoire (and vice-versa). Society has given both men and women an impressionable reaction to scenarios and from that we build prejudicial traits. Particular moments such as…

Three minutes (or considerably less) moments

I can’t lie to you, this ranks up there highly in the “things you don’t want a girl to tell her friends about” list. Virgins and Viagra users aside we’ve all been there once (or thrice); you’re in the zone and it feels good…a little too good and before you know it you’re mimicking facial expressions with Aiden from X-Factor, its over. She says something either directly or indirectly patronising like “it’s ok”, you’re pissed with yourself, you feel less of a man, you want to go for round 2 badly, you start to wonder what she’s thinking and have made up your mind she’s gonna tell (all this and track 1 on your definitive slow jams compilation CD hasn’t even finished yet).

It’s natural for a man’s pride to be shattered at this point, and semi-natural for a woman to have a preconceived opinion on a man who doesn’t please her in this capacity for long enough but hey SH*T HAPPENS.

It Happens: “Hey Sh*t Happens”

The sooner you both realise that ‘It Happens’ the better things will be for future endeavours. Sometimes a woman feels too good, or there’s over excitement, or lack of experience over a period of time prior to this…you name a brother with a 100% record and I’ll show you a liar. Don’t get me wrong though, there’s no way in HELL you can get away with this on a regular basis gentleman but be comfortable in the knowledge that It Happens, yes even to you.

Incompetence

This is a pride assassin for both men and women; the male thought-process when this happens goes without saying; the sweat, the anxiety and the conceding of defeat is enough to take pride levels down to -1. Women on the other hand, I can only imagine have varied levels of hurt. They either feel less sexy, unwanted and insulted; or disappointed, unforgiving and regret. Prejudicial thoughts commence, harshly, and by both involved. Let it go, it happens, just don’t make it a habit.

She don’t want you

No matter how many women you get, how many girls dig you or how handsome your family members say you are, not every woman’s gonna like you; whether you find her attractive or not. You go to a club, comedy show, poetry night, Tescos etc and you usually attract alot of attention so you feel confident enough to holla at the girl that’s caught your eye.

You’re smiling, you’re being charismatic, you got the facial expressions and tone of voice you practice in the mirror daily on point but she just don’t feel you. Your pride may be dealt a blow but deal with it, don’t build disrespect from a prejudicial mindset towards her and say some tired line like “didn’t like your weave anyway” or “she probably only likes (insert skin-tone) dudes”..no mate, she just aint feeling you; but you know what? It Happens! Taste varies and you weren’t her flavour.

Orgasms Aren’t For Everyone

Ok so this point can be split into two scenarios. 1) Some women can’t get orgasms through sex..fact! 2) A particular woman isn’t having an orgasm with YOU.

Number 1 should be less pride damaging but some of us see it that way, after all if a woman scream, shudder and then say “don’t touch me, don’t touch me” within seconds through pleasuring herself, then why can’t she do it with two people in the room? Well without getting technical, only 70% of women can orgasm during sex. The other 30% probably don’t because their “love button” (yes I called it love button seeing as we’d get spam from particular type of websites if I called it cli…ooo nearly) isn’t being stimulated during sex like it is when she’s by herself. Fact! Let the pride go.

As for number 2, hey it happens! If she’s not getting to that point with you, its likely she hasn’t got to that point that much in the past. And if she does….women, don’t be thinking prejudicial thoughts towards your partner because he hasn’t got you to that point yet, time and effort can change things hopefully.

Anyway that’s enough of the scenarios. Let’s just take a moment to understand that pride is a wonderful characteristic to have as long as it doesn’t cloud our judgement and fall into stubborn territory forming a bond with prejudice. Sometimes we have to look at certain issues and just realise that SH*T HAPPENS and the quicker we realise it, the better it will be for our chi.

I’m gone like Gamu (Too Soon?)

JC

What are your thoughts brothers and sisters? Is Pride and Prejudice the issue here? Do we have the correct levels of both? What other scenarios are affected by the two Ps?

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