“Honesty is always the best policy”

Lies.

I mean in most cases yeah, but like with everything else in life honesty is best in moderation. One has to be careful with the truth, as the person who you give it to may not always be too thankful for it. “A man who tells the truth all the time has no friends” I tell people this all the time. I’m not saying lets all lie at the same rate as politicians and rappers do, but tread carefully.

Women are probably the most inquisitive of the sexes, specialising in questions such as Where were you? With who? As well as most questions starting with the words “Why don’t you…?” Or closed questions such as “Don’t you know that?”. Some of these questions sometimes take the form of trick questions; you know those ones where you have to be very careful of the answer as it might be a set up. There are some things which should be spoke about however some questions just don’t need to be asked. Lets examine….

Do you love me?

A question we fear and puts us on edge when asked, especially if its only 6 months into a relationship. Its better you wait for someone to tell you that they love you om their own accord rather than ask this question and pause awaiting a response, why would you do this to yourself? I know women like to be constantly reminded of things but come on man this one is not necessary. If he has never told you he loves you, it’s pretty likely he doesn’t and this would just be an awkward question that’s going to kill a vibe. This is one of those questions that should only really be asked in crisis relationships talks or before you ask for reeeeally big favours, otherwise its just going to cause problems.

Do I look fat?

Men hate this question as we know we can’t win. If you say no, 9/10 times we wont be believed and if we say yes we have insulted you. Why do you ask us then? What’s more annoying is when skinny women say “Im putting on weight you know, am I getting fat?” Do you ask this question out of habit?? Have you never seen real fat people before??  Getting fat? no. Stupid? maybe.

Have I put on weight? would be a much better question to ask, but I would prefer you ask your friends instead. If you do ask please don’t follow up with something along the lines of…

Would you still love me if I was 25 stone?

What is it with hypothetical scenarios that test how much we care about you. That’s just such a stupid question, of course I would still love you but probably from a further distance. As my brother JC mentioned in his earlier

What is the best sex you have ever had?

Like am I seriously supposed to answer this question? If you’re asking what was the best sex WE have ever had – cool – I can answer that. In fact that’s the question I’m going to pretend I’m answering because surely if I say with Sheniqua from Ladbroke Grove you will go from tipsy to sober in a milli second. I’ll just use my brains and auto translate function for this one.

Is she prettier than me?

Its healthy to be able to talk to women about what you find attractive in other people, its unhealthy to measure it against a member of the opposite sex.. definitely not your partner.

Her: “I don’t get all the hype about ….”  I know loads of prettier girls”

Him: “Yeah right, like you told me you got a friend who looks like Beyonce”

Her: “She does, do you think she’s nice too”

Him: “I cant even lie she’s hot”

Her: “Is she prettier than me?”

*pause*

Why would you do this?  Do you know that there is now a possibility we are going to have beef over some girl I don’t care about? (most guys are rubbish liars so the no will not suffice) I know some people are thinking this is an unrealistic scenario but believe me it happens. As a man its best you just reply

“Of course not, so how was your day?”

What do you think …..? (when you have no intention of listening to my answer)

These questions will make a man just want to keep his opinion to himself. If you ask me for my opinion please listen, don’t argue with me, just absorb it and add to your list of solutions. There is nothing more annoying than being asked a question that turns to a debate about something you don’t care about.

If you was single would you be interested in her?

Wow

Whats my name? (during sex)

Gender roles must have totally been lost if women do this to you.

When are you going to propose?

Women ask men this question a lot more than I thought. As a brother with no game I have never been asked myself but many a friend have shared their experience with me. This is just pressure, do you really want a man to marry you under stress? How can you ask somebody when are they going to askyou a question?, surely this makes no sense. I suggest unless you are going to get your Chrissy on you should just hold tight ’til a man wants to ask you himself.

Can I come hang out with you and your boys?

How about no, and my boys probably don’t really want to hang out with you.

Is it ok to go out for a drink with my ex? we are just friends now

I just threw that in. I have never heard of anybody being asked that question, I just thought it would be so cheeky.

What would you do if I cheated on you?

There are some sick individuals out there who think of sick hypothetical questions. What’s wrong with you?

What are you thinking about?

It’s not necessarily the question itself but rather the TIMING of the question, mainly after sex…I’ve just put in sevenral minutes of my best work and want to relax/sleep and now you wanna play Q&A?

Ladies please don’t ask us these questions…please?

Peace out.

Don Kwelu