Recession Dating
When on a date in a restaurant, there are usually three factors that come into play when the bill comes, The Want Factor, The Hope/Wish Factor and The Force Factor. All the rules that have been argued about time and time again regarding who should pay or who is going to pay is clouded mostly by expectations. Only on odd occasions do people go out and say beforehand “I’m going to pay” so either one of you or both rely on logic, morals, expectations or character to see this process out rather than fact and all of is run in parallel with the three factors.
The Want Factor: When the bill comes, the person who confidently brings their card/cash out with no questions asked has the Want factor. They want to pay for the bill and have made it their duty to do so. This can also work for the woman who expects (wants) the man to pay the bill.
The Hope/Wish Factor: This factor is usually based on a person who wishes to pay halves or for what they ordered and hopes that the other person has the same thought process, evidently this isn’t always a mutual or successful process hence the Hope/Wish Title and not Inevitable Title.
And then we have The Force Factor…
You ever been on a date at a restaurant where you’re the one who is going to pay knowing fully well you don’t have much in your account and so you’re hoping your date doesn’t order the whole of page 2 and then want to quench their thirst with numerous glasses of double digit priced cocktails, then have a sweet tooth to match with the order of extra dessert leaving you sweating over the bill?
Guy: You enjoy your dessert? *In His Head: And that £25 main course you didn’t even attempt to finish*
Girl: Yes Magnifique! You sure you don’t want to get some for yourself?
Guy: Nah I’m broke full, I’m watching my wallet weight since I’ve been hitting bankruptcy gym lately so trying to stay away from brown envelopes healthy
Girl: Ooo look at you, well it makes sense
Guy: What do you mean?
Girl: You seem a bit tense this evening but now I know it’s all those reps that have got you looking a little stiff
Guy: Ha!..*scratches back off neck*…yeah that’s…that’s exactly what it is
Girl: Well from over here it looks like the gym’s been paying off
The Guy smiles with her until the waiter comes and drops the bill on the table…silence…the guy now looks like he’s swallowing peanut butter. He takes a glance at the Total and his heart skips a beat, the waiter stands with his card machine ready. He wants to take another look at the bill to calculate how it even got to that price but all eyes are on him. He slowly takes his card out of his wallet giving him enough time to finish the Lord’s Prayer in his head before he hands it over to the waiter. He looks at the girl who smiles, he fake smiles back and then stares at waiter’s facial expression, the receipt comes out
Waiter: I’m sorry sir your card has been declined
Guy: What? That’s probably right crazy!
Waiter: Would you like me to try again?
Guy: Yes please
The Waiter tries again, the guy looks over at the girl who tries to give him a vote of confidence but it’s clear she’s ever so slightly disappointed. DECLINED again
The Waiter: Sorry sir, it might be our machines, let me get a new one
Girl: Its ok don’t worry about it, I’ll pay. Girl takes out her card <—- The FORCE Factor
The Force Factor comes into play when the person who didn’t want to, wasn’t expecting to or wasn’t supposed to pay, has to pay. Sometimes it happens when someone chooses to pay halves, sometimes it happens when the other person has ‘conveniently’ left their wallet at home and sometimes it happens when your card has been declined…twice. Neither person wants to be responsible for or be the recipient of the Force Factor nor should they be; but as a person who has suffered a short period of being Truly Broke I can understand why some choose to be brave in a recession age.
Yet it’s not about being brave, it’s about being smart; we are living in for a lack of better word, PEAK times and with redundancy, unemployment, living costs on the rise comes the steady increase of window shopping, Tesco Value products and “maybe next year” statements. So when it comes to dating, if your pockets aren’t full don’t go for broke, YOLO is a lie, be smart; contrary to goldigger/high maintenance belief you do not have to be a man/woman of riches to show your partner or a date a good time. Take advantage and explore what this cold ass country has to offer. So here’s a couple of tips for those trying to save their money and embarrassment. Recession Dating: Places To Go/Things To Do When On A Budget
Go out during the day…weekday
Day Dates are a saver’s best friend for the pressure is less on you to deliver and naturally, options and items are relatively cheaper. De-stressing from work and life by taking a girl to a nice pastry, bakeries or coffee shop for cake and coffee is a nicely little money saver, in a relaxed environment where you can eat, conversate and please one another’s sweet tooth.
MAN CODE: Legs up + Laying Face Forward = NO!
The best things in life are free…and these too
Museums, Galleries and Exhibitions are generally free and for a woman or man who’s interested in specific culture, art or history this is a win-win; gives you something to talk about during or after. Have a walk by the Thames and in or around Central London enjoying each other’s company and feeding each other Drake’s lines. Maybe a picnic in the park, countryside or river; preferably within the two weeks during the year when we have sun in this country.
Duh….
Opt for a night indoors where you can make a home cooked meal, watch DVDs, have a games night, use your imagination/creativity to make your home an experience. There are a host of clubs and venues in your city (I assume) that host cheap and affordable comedy, jazz, magic or poetry nights.. Don’t just look for the ones advertised on Twitter or force-fed on Facebook, keep an eye out on magazines, papers and websites. Ice-Skating, Winter Wonderland, Bowling, Pool and the Theatre tc are good and affordable nights out too.
Look for dates that provide an Experience or are Outside The Box
Joining sites that gives you the heads up on events/outings will expand your dating experience and save your pocket. You’ll be able to get creative ideas and take them to places outside of the box like River Cruises, F1 Racing, Spy Academy, Pole Dancing (win-win) Indoor Surfing, White Water Rafting, Take Her To Design and Keep Her Own Perfume…all of this cost cheaper than whatever was on that brother’s bill in The Force Factor.
For the dates you have that don’t mind (all 5% of them) that you’re using deals for dates/restaurants, make sure you join sites like GroupOn, Book-A-Table, Top Table and buy yourself a TasteCard to have a fine dining experience for a cheaper price.
With the right choices and imagination most of your dates won’t even know the difference between a normal date and a recession date. I’m off to take a girl a window shopping so she can see what she’ll get for Christmas…in 2012
JC
What’s your thoughts on ‘Recession’ dating? Have you ever had to think outside of the box to save money and show your date/partner a good time? Have you been the recipient or responsible of the fear factor? What other options are there? Holla!
20 comments on “Recession Dating”
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hahaha Wow I needed this. My trip back to London was looking fairly expensive. I even ended up thinking twice to coming back. Really needed this post! Thanks!!!!
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I love this post, hilarious as always. I just wonder: *if I were boooooy*, I’d be worried that taking a girl to a free art gallery or a free museum would make me look cheap, even if I know I’m just trying to be smart. It’s also an image thing. I guess a free date every now and then is acceptable, but don’t let it become a habit!! We women make up our minds pretty much from the first date. A guy who never pulls out all the stops during dates isn’t likely to captivate our attention for very long. And as for pole dancing?? really?? loool okay, that’s different! But yeah thanks for another brilliant post!
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1st: LOL @ pole dancing. you are a fool for that one.
2nd: i think it’s hard out here for the fellas. there are some chicks that don’t mind the split, some that expect at least the 1st date to be paid for, and others..well.. who give the rest of us a bad name because their demands are so out of touch with reality.
my biggest thing is not having to plan the date. i dont really care how much it cost, and frankly going for a walk is fine, or sitting in a beautiful park just talking (both of which i’ve done) – just come up with a plan.
all i want to know is where, when, what shoes and how much cleavage.
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@keisha brown, It’s true. Take control. If you asked me out and I said yes, I want to see what you enjoy doing. Failing that, lets do something new together (new not expensive). How many times have you spend AAAAaaages mentally and visually getting ready for a date to have the guy say ” so what we doing?”…???!? You invited ME so YOU tell ME. If you can’t be creative, I’m going for that old failsafe… £dinner£movie£dancing£ kmt. Cos i know when i plan the date it’ll be fun fun fun.
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@Keisha INNIT!! Long for this movement of plan-less males. I punish them by being am expensive date.
Having a plan= control of finances= no embarrassing decline moments.
HAZAH!Mr. Credible you are a wise one. These are life lessons.
Never go where you cannot afford to pay for the entire date. Man or Woman. You know why?
Because you never know when your date comes like Derren Brown and Jedi mind tricks you.
Also always carry VEX money. Why? It’s needed in case you have to make a quick/dramatic exit from a crappy date.
#ThankMeLater -
These are brilliant!
The ideas are lovely, and often it’s the ‘cheaper’ dates that are the most enjoyable!
London is such an amazing city, it’s a shame people don’t explore the more creative sides to it for romance!
And LOL @ legs up + laying face forward! LOOOL
Great post as usual.
Ladies, take note as well… We can plan dates too! x
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See now if you’re dating a girl who is insensitive to your financial situation, or who you have to pretend that you’re ballin to all the time, I’m gonna have to question your life choices!
Personally, I think fancy dinners are overrated, I would rather go to a museum or something. But like Keisha said, whatever we do, just make sure you have a plan!
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Aaaahhh man I just remembered when I took a girl to Gaucho on a first date….jhheeeeeze…do your research lads. Before your pocket gets….SONIC BOOM….PERFECT!
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Legend, I needed this because my pocket is getting a bit sticky especially as Christmas is looming ..lol
Good post brother