Revenge of The Nerds, The Tubbies & The Downright Fuglies
Life was never easy for us 5s, 6s and 7s (out of 10) back in the school and college days. Along with nerds, chubby kids and the perceived facially challenged kids it was pretty unimaginable for us to get the girls we wanted.
I remember back in Year 7 when me and Maverick were chasing the same girl, Simone (I’d add a surname but facebook’s become the new google, I don’t need that pressure) she was your stereotypical hot chick at school, great skin, good hair, cute smile and a lady of the street. Being a smart, gifted and well put together gentleman who stayed out of trouble I thought I’d have the better shot.
Lo and behold Maverick got her, I was…for a lack of a better word…flabbergasted. (Maverick is laughing as I type this) What did this dude have that I didn’t? Facial hair. Then it hit me, whilst I proceeded in dressing in prim and proper uniform attire, shirt buttoned up, cravat tied to the top, blazer on; Maverick was a rebel…the blazer was non existent and his shirt barely buttoned up, leaving traits of Jodeci worship carefully placed chest awareness in conjunction with a tight Marks and Spencer’s vest…he had acquired the role of The R&B Bachelor.
At the time R&B reigned as the dominant music genre in the young urban community and like a plague the music swept across the nation providing an aphrodisiac for every female in its path. No matter the girl, if you had the right slow jam playlist you’d get her full attention (Play “So Anxious” to your girl right now and watch her gyrate when the beat drops) and all the Bachelors knew it.
Only R&B was capable of being juxtaposed with both thugs and sweet boys at school; from the S curls to the babyface there was a similar pattern forming. Guys had taken the R&B formula and ran with it, and girls ate it up. It was a downhill struggle for the 5s, 6s and 7s and certainly impossible for the nerd, tubby and facially challenged kids to keep up.
However things have changed now, R&B has had to take a backseat to contemporary Hip-Hop (and Funky House). Somewhere between college and postgraduate status, the behaviour and looks connotated with R&B (and abit of Garage) had found new attributes to contend with…Money, Material and “Swagger” (Hip-Hop). If you have either, and, or any of these nowadays it seems you may have a chance; for the new hip-hop generation have shape-shifted the eyes of many a young woman and the mindset of a lot of men. Cue the revenge of the nerds, the tubby and downright fuglies.
Right now you would find it very difficult to not go a full day without hearing Teflon Don playing in a young buck’s car, undoubtedly one of the best albums of 2010 and an anthem for this generation. Not only has Rick Ross provided fuel to 419ers and drug dealers talented producers he’s made it cool to be fat again. Let’s not forget that within weeks he had made us forget the buzz that Drake had created with the release of his debut Thank Me Later; which is no small feat. I’m not saying that they will fall at dude’s feet but the aura and assets of the BAWSE provide something for goldiggers women to appreciate. I mean if The Dream can court, impregnate, marry then CHEAT on Christina Milian than the least a tubby dude can do is get a number off a girl working on the ground floor at John Lewis…
Accompanied by aura and assets is of course swagger, which is a term I both despise and want re-defined but for the purposes of this post I will use in conjunction with Nerds. Being a nerd was not only a lifestyle it was a look and thanks to the likes of Pharell (N.E.R.D), Kanye, Lupe amongst others it has become one of the most popular looks in young urban lifestyle.
The colourful polo tops, checkered shirts, big glasses, battered converses, dysfunctional colour co-ordination, backpacks…its all considered stylish…the preppy look is now the GQ Man of the year look. The very look that was ignored before is heralded now and with new additions to the mix in the form of skinny jeans, rope chains and slogan tops has made Nerds that more attractive to the naked eye. In lamens terms bar the new additions, Carlton Banks is the originator and connoisseur of swagger…”its not unusual…”
Which leaves us to the most amazing revenge of them all. The downright fuglies.
The attire, aura and assets (Material, Swagger and Money) are instrumental in giving society’s idea of an ugly man a chance of acquiring the heralded woman. Of course ugly is a subjective phrase to use as beauty lies in the eye of the beholder….though I can trade you a subjective phrase and thrown in a Mark Morrison and you wouldn’t be able to argue.
To call my next example downright fugly would be harsh but he is the one example I can give that can validate my point…Lil Wayne. The man whose verse is structured like a ADD carrier Twitter timeline has built such an incredible buzz over the last couple of years, acquired so much confidence and gained so much assets that plenty of women I know have been proned to saying “I think he’s cute” “there’s something about him” “he’s got that swagger”….He got Lauren London
Yet it’s not uncommon nowadays to have a debated unattractive man with an absolutely gorgeous woman; personality, heart and/or most likely one of the three a’s play a massive part. The new hip-hop generation along with some maturity have made it so. Now I myself haven’t been a product of revenge as I have consistently been a 7.5 ha! (according to average scores) but I do recognise the change of luck for the average man when it comes to women. A sign of maturity or just a sign of change?
5s, 6s, 7s, nerds, tubbies and fuglies can take heed in the fact that despite the Trey Songz, Tyreses, Drakes, Ginuwines and Ushers of this world having the upper hand there is still room for the Dreams, Kanyes, Bawses and Lil Waynes to get theirs too.
I’m gone like Mel Gibson’s credibility
What do the sisters think? Have music/artists lifestyle played a part in a woman’s perception of a man? Do the three a’s boost a perceived nerd, tubby, fugly, 5, 6 or 7s chances? Can the old and new generations relate to this?
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