The hardest thing to do when dating someone is trying to second guess what they find sexy. Its probably the reason why romance seems to be such an anti climax for women, because while our better halves spend hours in preparation to look, smell and feel sexy, our checklist is usually as simple as “a fresh haircut every fortnight is likely to keep her keen.”

Men do simple things, unless they are told to do otherwise. But women love surprises so they try not to tell a man what they find sexy / romantic and expect him to get on his Inspector Columbo / CSI and surprise her when she least expects it. More often than not women just settle by concluding the effort as being romantic and sweet, so dudes keep repeating the same old tired antics. But when it comes to dudes, if it is not a turn on, you will know from a brother’s reaction.

Wife: “Why dont you come to bed…?”
Husband: “uh uh, these taxes need doing or we’re going to be sleeping on your mother’s couch”
Wife: “Dont worry about that, I have a surprise for you…”
*Husband sighs and walks to the bedroom*

Wife: “Come here big boy”

*Husband starts to do the maths and realises that all this romantic facade, has set the household budget back a couple hundred pounds”

Husband: “Oh baby you didn’t have to…”
Wife: “Of course I did”
Husband: “No really you didn’t (partly serious manly voice)…I mean uhhm… why dont we get you out of those expens…I mean sexy clothes and ermm..lets make love on the floor…” *as he impatiently looks around the room for the receipts*

Moral of the story is when trying to impress a dude, Frugality and Simplicity are usually the number one and two rule.

So I bring to you five random things that some men find sexy, which I can assure you barely takes much time, effort and more importantly doesn’t cost much money.

5. Arguments / When she is mad

Most brothers are comfortable with getting into confrontation with their partners, unless she looks like the type that can actually kick your ass. Most of the time the arguments are over petty things like leaving the milk out the fridge, and we tend to get it to escalate into something deep enough to get her to raise her voice or screw up her face and start giving you one word answers for the rest of the day. There is something sexy about a woman holding back her smile when she is upset with you, as you attempt to make her laugh, then all of a sudden she bursts out with laughter and all is good for some make up sex.

Warning: This only works if you are in a stable relationship, such events in an unstable could end up in a “your mama” marathon.

4. Women in Football strips

I thought I was the only one who found women in football strips attractive, until I saw an article which proved that a large sample of men prefer seeing their partners in their football strip rather than sexy lingerie.  Looking from the outside it is understandable why some people may question why a man would be turned on by his woman sporting the same garment as his favourite footballer. I see it as the “No hom*” disclaimer which neutralises the fact that we spend a lifetime watching 22 men on the pitch, in shorts. If it was up to us we would happily substitute Messi for Melyssa Ford and Kaka for Kelly Brooke or Rowland.

Now guys imagine you just put it down with the Mrs and she walks out the room sporting this footie shirt! Class!

3. When she is formally dressed for work or an interview

It is true that men think of sex every other minute, hence why the nurse and doctor fetishes tend to go down well. Considering that we spend most of our life at work, we have definitely thought about laying the pipe on our female boss or one of our female workmates. Particularly the ones with an attitude that don’t give you a time of day. So the next time you’re dressed in formalwear to work, you are bound to turn him on and I cant lie he is probably thinking of all the women in his life that have bossed him about from Primary school teacher to the current office manager. Its best you allow him to exercise the work fantasies at home.

2. Pregnancy

Now with this one, I can’t say I am a fan but I know of dudes who find pregnant women attractive. Is it to do with the natural attraction towards a fertile female or is it just a sick fetish? Maybe its just perverted men attracted to the the changes in their female features such as enlarged breasts and bum, but this is definitely one that I find a little bit strange. I bumped into a forum about this as part of the research for the post and I was seeing talks of “a glow which pregnant women seem to possess”, I personally don’t see it, unless its someone you already found attractive, as I can’t argue for pregnancy making anyone more attractive. But then again there are dudes out there that love it, just hope that if it is your man that he doesn’t quit his day job and take up midwifery.

1. Random raunchy texts

Now for me there is nothing which screams “sexy” more than getting a text from someone you are seeing at a random time of the day, telling you they are ODT (On Dis (this) ting or in other words “Horny”). Now some women might think that this is “hoeish”, and that is the reason why their BBM no longer pings, because you don’t know how to spice it up for a brother. Ludacris’ old adage of “ a lady in the street but a freak in the bed” still resonates. We dont want you to go around advertising it to the whole world, but at least secretly let a dude know when your thinking of the good times, so we know that we are not alone when it comes to fantasising.

What can be more arousing than getting a message halfway through a long day at work or whilst getting battered 5-0 on FIFA by your mate, reminding a brother that he has got a bag of madness waiting for him at home? I’ll wait.

In a nutshell, it looks as though men like it natural and honest, but at times we like to synthesise all of our fantasies. Keep it simple and surprise your man, its likely to be enough to keep homeboy interested.

I would like to hear your opinion on this list and see y’all share your personal ‘fetishes’ or other random ones that you may have come across.

The Yak

Pic Sources: Madame Noire, BinsideTV, Do the Knowledge, Over Blog and Lancashire Telegraph