The Hairline Chronicles: The 3 Stages Before Acceptance

Outside of the usual suspects (family, friends, the other half) men usually have up to three people who shape their presence and performance in the outside world.

1. The Boss – The gatekeeper of a brother’s finance
2. The Teacher/Mentor/Preacher – The stimulator of a brother’s academia and/or mental/spiritual growth
3. The Barber – The restorer of a brother’s bravado

The barber and customer relationship is integral and sacred; there are legitimate reasons why men sought the services of their specific barber, bypassing that other barber with the free chair and absolutely no customers. Through minutes of work with a set of clippers, he is responsible for our transformation from average Joe to THAT GUY, having us look in the mirror afterwards like the closing footage of a Gillette advert.

Salute.

However much like family, friends, the other half etc the impact a barber has on a man when he does something wrong is detrimental. That trust we have for him that was built through years of solid craftsmanship on fades, high tops, one-levels and Mohicans goes to dust when the barber does the unthinkable…

Pushes back the hairline.

Instant Rage. We ask ourselves, what led this carpenter of thy shape-ups to perform such a treacherous act? Was he off his game? Too busy having conversations with others in the room to concentrate with the task at hand? These questions deserve an answer but what if you get the answer you wasn’t expecting? Although we’d like to believe he messed up, what if he responds saying “It’s that time”.

There comes a time in a man’s life (50% of men maybe? Don’t quote me) when his hair won’t be as sharp as it was, won’t be as thick and slick as it was, won’t have that trusted 3-5cm distance between the eyebrows and hairline that he was used to. Yes my friends, The Hairline Chronicles has arrived….and there’s nothing we can do about it for cheap.

The question is, are we willing to accept this? There are 3 stages some men go through before they accept (or have no choice but to) the loss of their hair/hairline.

Stage 1: Fear and Disbelief

This comes the moment a man first sees the signs of challenged hair. The worst thing about the thinning of hair or receding hairline is that other than a possible history of occurences in your family, you never see it coming. Fear and Disbelief ensues.

Scenarios like:

One day you’re walking past the mirror, take a usual glance, then you’re forced to take a second glance, something’s different, one part of your hair is darker than the other. Your eyes widen and have come to the realisation that “It’s that time”.

Or one day when your hairline is pushed a cm back and it’s not growing forward again for nothing or nobody, it has made it’s decision to retreat and find rest in the upper echelons of your forehead.

From then on you check the mirror almost every day to see if any progress or regress has been made, mirrors become your friend and your enemy. Friends and the other half tell you they don’t notice it, but you do! Stage 1.

Stage 2: Adaptation and Creativity

This stage is usually for guys who still have time left. We still feel our hair is salvageable and hairline attainable so we now attempt to adapt to our hair’s predicament and create new hairstyles. If our hair is thinning at the top and we’ve lived our lives in the one-level realm, it’s time to adapt to the level-2 or more fade (or a mohican). Leaving something at the top and less at the sides, eludes to strengthened hair.

Ala Raul Meireles.

Brothers usually revert to a one-level if the hairline declines, nothing fancy, keep it respectable and manageable for as long as physically possible.

Stage 2.

Stage 3: Headgear and Winter Prayer

By this point the hairline has made vast attempts to disappear and the thinning of the hair is moving rapidly. A man has conceded defeat BUT either the illusion is still being created or it hasn’t been rectified, by the presence of headgear.

You start seeing a brother mass-experimenting with headgear like never before. E.g berets, flat caps, top hats, snapbacks etc he’s preserving the hairline. There should be no other reason to wear a fitted with a suit, unless you’re Russell Simmons or from Shoreditch.

Winter is a god-send as there’s reason to wear woolly hats with every and any thing. This 9 times out of 10 is usually the stage before acceptance unless a brother REALLY wants to hold on by still having shape-ups when the distance between the eyebrows and hairline is in excess of 10cm. That stage is entitled Denial and Delusion.

Finally…. you will have acceptance; the acceptance that your hairline is gone or waned. If you’re lucky, you will have had a receding hairline that goes back only ever so slightly but is manageable and still have a full set of hair to work with. Other than that you will either leave it to form the bald and sides, or go bald completely. This is Acceptance.

The Hairline Chronicles, is something men face on a constant basis, it is tough to accept but we’ll get there….eventually.

I’m gone.

JC

Gentleman do you relate? Are you in the middle of the Hairline Chronicles? What stage are you in now? Is Is there a stage I missed out? Holla!

8 comments on “The Hairline Chronicles: The 3 Stages Before Acceptance

  1. Don Logan on said:

    what about that brother in that last episode of your show, the one who was singing to the white woman at the cashpoint – what stage is he at?? that patch he had was gleaming at me!

  2. efimilejo on said:

    Lol. That’s a grim reality. I’ve seen people at the barber shop face this sad truth.

  3. Demba Barz on said:

    What bout the Gervinho stage? I seen niccas wearing weaves, pony tail extensions, fake dreads you name it!!

    Im gonna die like Tupac! fuck it!

  4. Obenewa on said:

    LOOL! Stage three is the killer. JC said berets and tops hats! Hilarious. Sad times fellas sad times…

  5. The Yak on said:

    Y’all be tripping. my hair is fully intact. LOL Great post mate.

    The Yak

  6. double n on said:

    lol ridic attempts at hats only make it more obvious! me thinks the best thing to do is fast forward to acceptance. blad is not the end of the world….although in girl world the equivalent would be loosing your edges due to tension from wearing weaves/braids etc
    *shrugs*
    double n recently posted..OOTD| Purple ReignsMy Profile

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