The premise that all men cheat has been ill repeated for as long as I can remember. Ryan (allegedly), Kobe, Tiger, Eric, Charlie, Jude, Jermaine, Winston, Dave, Uncle Frimpong, Brother Franklin, your friend, your ex’s brother’s best friend’s accountant etc have all added fuel to the fire; even my brother Don Kwelu chimed in on the idea.

Having known of brothers who have only been limited to cheating on their girl with their girl, I can’t agree with Eddie Murphy in full but something he did touch on in that clip for a couple of seconds is something that we men do serially in relations to women/relationships, and thats lie.

Oh its true.

Now the myth surrounding men’s lies is that they’re all a blatant disregard for the woman or disrespect towards the relationship….Not true. You’d be quietly surprised how many lies and half-truths men tell that are  for the GOOD of the relationship. In fact they’re so good that they should be medically prescripted against headaches.

So in reverse to The Yak’s original post, here are The Lies and Half Truths That Men Tell

HALF TRUTH - “You look great/fine”

Arguably the most common lie/half truth in every relationship is a brother’s answer to his Mrs questions about how she looks or covering up what he thinks about her look. How do I look? Is my dress too tight? Is it a good fit? Now other than the men who are designers, stylists, have an interest in all fashion or have invented their own lisp; the rest of us don’t really know whether women look good or not BUT we know what we do and don’t like. On the odd occasion we don’t like it we may just answer the questions in bold with “No you look great” and “No you look fine” in order to instill confidence and reassurance in her but ultimately to steer clear of arguments, tears or the ‘always’ and ‘never’ scenario. “You ALWAYS have something negative to say about how I dress” “You NEVER compliment me”.

Of course if the outfit is something we despise then a more accurate half truth shall set us free.

Her: Hey what do you think of this? *Poses in a leopard print, tight and extremely short dress with clear heels*

Him: “You’re not a hoe but you are wearing a hoe’s uniform” “I usually love what you wear baby but it just doesn’t look as good this time”

LIE – “Sorry I Missed Your Call” “My Battery Died You Know” “Couldn’t Get Reception” or “Yes Mum? (Pause) I’ll call you back, just gotta do something for my mum”

Basically Back the F Up…I still love you though. Often we will tell these lies in an attempt to salvage some me time. While it’s a given for some women to hear their man’s voice everyday; some men can’t cope with it. It’s not that men don’t necessarily want to hear about their lady’s day or what they’re up to, it’s just that women have the ability to call at the precise moments where men are enjoying their own time and have shut the idea out. To leave the situation unscathed by saying ‘I wanna be left alone’, we make up a little lie to account for the stalled time.

HALF TRUTH - “She’s ok”

When it comes to the acknowledgement of other women, men find midway compliments to be the easiest form of address in front of their women. This is where the woman requires our thoughts/reaction to another woman in question; likely to be a friend, colleague or someone who has made an appearance in close proximity. The man replies with either midway words like “quite” (E.g she’s quite pretty) “ok” “decent” and “not bad” or midway tone/expression “erm yeah she’s pretty”; it’s done in a way that shows he’s given attention but not too much. This also aligns well with a small glance or shrug of the shoulder while saying it.

We don’t say too little or anything negative about her indicating a blatant lie and we don’t express or expose too much praise or what we really think to avoid THESE moments. It also saves the hassle of her watching your expressions dialogue next time you’re around her relatively hot friend.

LIE - “You’re the best I ever had”

The area we are most vulnerable in tends to be the same area we lie one of the most in, sex. For every 100 women who fake an orgasm there is a guy who quotes Drake. The intentions are genuine, it saves humiliation but should ONLY be said when prompted. Luckily the subject rarely comes up unless the brother in question has a very detailed CV (Chick Vitae) which includes more experience than required. Being overqualified has proven to be a pain in the ass and so men are forced to lie. Lets face it, if he says no its a lose-lose situation.

HALF TRUTH – “We’ll talk about it later”

We have no intention of talking about it later, but we’ll concede that a woman is likely to bring it up later. The phrase ends any argument temporarily putting off some time to reflect on how useless it was to argue about a probable minute issue in the first place. Lo and behold that same argument is more than likely to take place later because a woman never forgets but at least this half truth gives a brother a breather. That same breather gives a brother time to think of Kevin Hart’s argument theory when facing her later on

LIE – Telling her that she WANTS to hear

Her: I think Wiz Khalifa saved Hip-Hop
Him: Yeah Me Too
Her: I want children by 26
Him: Yeah me too
Her: I need someone who puts church first
Him: Yeah me too
……Everybody meet Mr Me Too

Newsflash: Some men settle.
A lot of brothers tend to lie by ticking the boxes of the woman they are pursuing so that they can match, without having the same belief or mindset. With a compatible woman seemingly rare in their mind they sway from the truth to gain the satisfaction of being with the one they swoon for. In some cases it works as the guy is open and willing to the possibility of change in their belief/mindset. Admittedly though for the rest it won’t work and the refreshing honesty of telling the woman where he is mentally at this point in time or confidence in finding an abundance of women who are just right for him is replaced with an ‘emotional journey on which he is not fully prepared to follow through’ – Ask Men

THE LIES AND HALF TRUTHS MEN TELL

JC

Ladies and Gents what’s your take? Anymore to contribute? Leave A Comment (or four)

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