A recent conversation with my peers, was a little out of the ordinary brother to brother conversation in that it was around the conversation of marriage and finding the right woman. Maybe I am still stuck in my teens and trying to avoid the Mid-twife crisis of accepting that I am no longer a “yout.” Oh you’re thinking what is a mid-twife crisis?

I am sure many of you are familiar with the male midlife crisis.

“A male midlife crisis can happen when men think they’ve reached life’s halfway stage. Anxieties over what they’ve accomplished so far, either in their job or personal life, can cause a period of depression. In men, this usually happens between the ages of 35 and 50 and can last for up to 10 years.” - NHS

Well the only difference between the mid-twife crisis and the mid life crisis is that you have the fortune of having that experience in your mid 20s. See it as the warning signs of the things to come if you don’t get your act together.

Being that I am the only one yet to turn in his bachelor card – [or BWNG card if I am honest] , the focused turned into one about when am I looking to settle down.

I then went into a twenty minute discussion on why I am playing the Arsene Wenger role, but for every pro I presented, there was a good counter argument…which leads to this post. The pros and cons of playing the Arsene Wenger role with Chicks..

Pro #1: Invest in the Youth

Get them young and local

When brothers persist to tell me that I should settle down, I give them the analogy of ‘investing in the Youth system’. I guess we can all agree that one of the key components of a relationship is having a family [Babies]. For that reason we have to look at the situation as a man being at a football club and his female counterpart being the superstar player. This is because women mature quicker than men in the sexual, reproductive and mental department.The same way players mature at a quicker rate than their clubs.

In 10 years time Lukas Podolski would have retired [Menopause], whilst Arsenal football club will still be churning out new talent [Fertile]. Now unless you have been fortunate enough to find a good woman (like my peers), there is no need to rush into one for the sake of “settling down” or because other clubs are giving players long term contracts. The strategy here is to keep one look into the future, by scouting the young talent [post 19 years old], whilst investing time and money towards a sustainable future with such talent. The reason I say scout local talent is that you can do a quick history check or as we say in North London a “Dating MOT” by asking a few of the locals about her character.

The reason this is important is because one of the Cons of Arsene Wenger’s strategy of when picking up foreign technically gifted players [An attractive on the eye woman] is that now and again he overlooks their personalities for their talent. It might be that he doesn’t have the scouting intelligence abroad as he would have had on players like Ox-Chamberlain and Walcott.

Con #1: Overlooking personality for Tekkers

Avoid the ones with emotional baggage and a disloyal history

Nasri, Adebayor and RVP have been known to have priors with their previous clubs. Adebayor and RVP had countless confrontations with their teammates prior to joining Arsenal. This is why it is important to know where a relationship went wrong. Like I mentioned on a previous post “Before dating a widow, you must ask her what killed her husband”. Arsene should have done his research on players personalities rather than their talent. It is the same way brothers get bamboozled by the female’s tekkers and not her baggage. The only reason RVP’s ego was under control at Arsenal for so long, was because of his reputation of being injury prone. In football like in Life, bad news travels faster and further than good news, hence why an injury prone player is noticeable in the public the same way as a promiscuous female. So all she needs is a couple years away from the spotlight by finding a patient character like Wenger, until the real ballers come knocking.

In 2003 Samir Nasri made the statement below:

“For the moment I am very happy at Arsenal, but I would like to come back to Marseille because it’s the club of my heart – it’s where I started and I’m from. I would like to return and win a title with Marseille because that remains my biggest regret.”

Translation: “At the moment I am very happy with Arsene, but I would like get back together with Marcel, because he is the man in my heart, he was my first love” “I would like to get back together and settle down and have kids that remains my biggest regret”

If any woman gives you the impression that she is still stuck in a past relationship, best believe that she will either jump ship straight back or via a next Man in the in City. [See what I did there..oh well I tried]

What do all these three players have in common? Once they had their best seasons with Arsenal, they all left the following season. The same way that some attractive women would lay low with a guy who fell for her looks rather than her personality, then as soon as a baller comes calling, she is out the door. Her rationale: “Why be an average man’s queen when you can be a baller’s side chick?” As Jigga man once said, “…you can’t knock the hustle.”

Pro #2: Dating is a Transitional process

From Old guards to Invisibility

When Arsene Wenger first came to Arsenal he had to make sure he assessed the situation with ageing players [old relationships]. Now when it comes to women it doesn’t have to be their age per say but more the age of the relationship. Brothers need to start getting the past relationships out of the books in order to invest in new talent. But it should not be a situation where you have a wholesale change, it needs to be transitional like Wenger.

For every new girl that joins the phone book, another turns obsolete. Time is a valuable commodity, you can’t be spending it equally with chicks that don’t have the potential to be wifey, whilst neglecting the prospects. The key here is to take what you learn from one relationship to another – not the baggage-, hence why the likes of Steve Bould have come back into the Arsenal coaching staff and for the first time in a long time Arsenal have kept clean sheets in more than one premier league game. This is why most stable relationship turn into friendship after break ups and can be an area to lean to for advice. Be sure to never see Adebayor returning to Arsenal as a first team.

Cons #2: Karma is real

If you take her from another man be ready for Karma

I have always been skeptical about any player that Arsene Wenger has ever signed under an undisclosed fee. The list include the likes of Fabregas, Merida, Flamini all quality foreign players whose details their transfers remain vague. The latter was so dodgy that the Marseille manager Jose Anigo described the deal as: “This is a beautiful treason, he used me”.

This is like when all the nice girls in College and Sixth form used to date older boys because they had a nice car. We would see a brother pull up to a college gates to pick up Julie, whilst we stood at the bus stop waiting for the W3 bus. Sadness. The good news is that due to the nature of how these players were tapped up, there was always a desire to either go back [Fabregas] or pursue a better option elsewhere when the promise is not matched. Arsene Wenger should have played Ginuwine song “What’s so Different?”.

[Chorus]

“…You’re creepin’ on him for me,
But you say just trust me.
How am I to know that you won’t do it to me?
You’re tellin’ me it’s different
But what the hell is different
If you cheated on him you’ll do it to me.”

Pros #3: Stability over debt

Don’t spend what you don’t have to keep her

One thing that we can all learn from Arsene Wenger is his financial acumen. Although all of these players have left Arsenal, you are sure to find that the Arsenal credit rating is in a better shape than alot of other clubs with trophies and lavish liabilities. Whilst other clubs are in debt paying over the odds on wages [Expensive Gifts], promise of trophies [Jewellery], Wenger’s only debt is on a tangible asset, the cash cow that is the Emirates stadium.

If you are single in your mid 20s, you need to learn from Wenger’s decision to trade success today for long term stability. You’re better off stacking towards a property rather than spending money to have a trophy chick. As stated on point number 1, age is on your side, so you can invest 5 years of getting a deposit toward buying a House [Emirates], you will be lets say 30 years old and the young local college talents [Jack Wilshere’s] will be in their prime 25 years old. Now you will both will be in the position to start a family with your only debt locked into a more sustainable asset than a 36 months car BMW car leasing to pick up these RVP chicks who will leave you anyway.

Con #3: Reputation vs Stability trade off

Your reputation is key, protect it where possible.

Now although the point above sounds all well and good, we do live in a capitalistic world and with everything in life you need a balance. Being too frugal can create a reputation amongst players that you are stingy. This could hinder some potential talents ala how Arsene Wenger’s negotiation stance missed out on Sahin and a number of players who have the reputation of Arsenal as being a club that is content with not winning and spending less. Being frugal doesn’t mean you don’t keep up on your swag and external aesthetic because you will lose potential girls looking bummy.

It doesn’t have to be loud with colourful designer clothes, but enough to know that this dude is comfortable in his life. Remember your brand is what people say about you when you’re not in the room. A potential girl can be swayed away by what other say about you. It must be an easy job for the likes of Alex Ferguson and Mancini to turn a player away from Wenger because there is a reputation that you will not get what you are worth financially and in terms of accolades in such a short span career.

There it is, the pros and cons of playing the Arsene Wenger role with chicks. I am probably playing it 100%, hence why there are no trophy on my arm. But hopefully these Wilshere’s on my radar start to show potential and we can live a prosperous life at the Emirates in the near future.

The Yak

Don’t Forget, Brothers With No Game’s first event ‘You’ve Got Game’ is THIS THURSDAY at Jewel Bar in Picadilly Circus. Ladies tickets are SOLD OUT and there aren’t may left for the brothers so get your hands on them now! To find out more about the event and purchase tickets CLICK HERE (leave a comment before you go though lol)