The Summer Holiday Dilemma
A few years back when the exchange rate of the UK Pound to the US Dollar was something worth smiling about and had brothers feeling like they had Akeem’s money; BWNG and friends decided to set their sails stateside to celebrate graduating from University.
4 years of multi-thousand word assignments, sleep-reducing revision and uncompromising exams had to be countered with at least two weeks of relaxation and tom foolery. Asked whether we ‘soiled our royal oats’, I could only reply as a clichéd singleton with ‘What happens in……stays in…..’ (not much happened, we have no game remember?). It was definitely one of the best memories in recent years.
Fast forward to 2012.
The same group of friends meet up at a sports bar to have a catch up and one of them suggests that we all go on holiday to Miami this summer. Seeing as this country sees less sun than Antarctica at the moment and the weather has ADD as a whole, it was a no brainer for everyone to say yes.
Of course things have changed since THAT holiday a few years ago. We have different mindsets, receding hairlines, we’re more careful with our money and more importantly…not everybody is single now like we all were then. Meaning naturally we’d be taking a more varied approach to the holiday AND those who were taken had to tell (by tell I mean ask) their missus first. Despite a few manhood jokes, it was understood.
We started looking for villas and hotels and reasonable flight prices and had just made a breakthrough when one of the friends messaged us saying he couldn’t go; citing his workplace refusal to give him time off that month as the reason. Now if I hadn’t met his girlfriend prior to this I would have fell for that reason, but I knew, so to save face I spoke to him separately.
To put it plain and simply, she didn’t trust him…to gain perspective, she just wasn’t comfortable with the idea. It had recently occurred to me that Miami had been promoted into the unofficial top 5 holiday destinations that tested relationship trust issues. The other 4?
1) Ibiza 2) Cancun 3) Malia 4) Ayia Napa
A reputation has been built and once that gets into the head of someone, their partner can’t tell them nothing.
Verbal Reconstruction
The Missus: How was the meet up with the boys?
The Contemplating Brother: Good good, was nice to see everyone again
This Missus: That’s nice, I’m glad you had a good time baby; I’m cooking your favourite dish tonight.
The Optimistic Brother: That’s great! You know it’s funny Mike was cooking up something earlier. He was thinking we all should hang out again
The Missus: yeah? When?
The Hesitant Brother: Erm…summer, you know, we haven’t been on holiday for a little while so erm…we’re looking to go
The Missus: Oh ok, where?
The Nervous Brother: Miami
The Missus: What?
The Compromising Brother: Just for two weeks, more like ten days, maybe a week?
The Missus: No
The Angry Brother: What do you mean no?
The Missus: I mean no, not gonna happen, I’m not comfortable with that
The Agitated Brother: How are you just gonna say no? It’s just a holiday
The Missus: Why do you all need to go abroad? Haven’t you guys been to America already?
The Annoyed Brother: Doesn’t matter where we’ve been, friends tend to spend time with each other and that’s what we’re doing
The Missus: Listen I already said I’m not comfortable with a group of guys going on holiday to those type of places so respect how I feel. If you do go, don’t expect me to be here when you’re back.
*Cue Eastenders ending theme song*
It was safe to say that our friend was banned from Miami. There was an option to change location but he opted against it and seeing as the deal we found was too good to miss, he didn’t have to tell us twice. To be outright banned from a country by your partner is a hard pill to swallow and the usual compromise option isn’t a whole lot better.
‘If you’re going on summer holiday with your boys, We’re ALL going on a summer holiday. Cliff Richard.’ – Disgruntled Girlfriend and possible Drake fan
Yes the compromise option for holiday trust issues is for your girl to go with you…9 times out of 10 a brother won’t ever let that happen. So why exactly is a woman (or man) in these situations so against this happening?
Is it the past? Some Men and Women have misbehaved on holiday before and have been honest (and brave) enough to tell their current partners – maybe this has swayed their decision. Is it hearsay? Ayia Napa for example has multiple closets full of skeletons and maybe your partner doesn’t want you to add more stories. Is it friends? Everybody has friends who are on the wild side and if you don’t its probably you – maybe your partner doesn’t trust you being in an impressionable environment with your wild friends. Is it the size of group? Maybe the amount of people you holiday with suggests the amount of madness you may get up to.
Who knows?
I can understand why a partner would feel uncomfortable with their boo going on a group holiday but lets pay a visit to our friend by the name of trust. The only responsibility friends have for each on the holiday is to make sure that they’re healthy and safe from random kidnapping (unless Liam Neeson is their father). Everybody is their own person and regardless of hearsay, past and/or friends ultimately it’s down to your partner to be a representative of your relationship and a continuously trust worthy individual on holiday. I say let them have that privilege. What do you think?
JC
Ladies and Gents, have you had the holiday issue come up before? And if so, what was the reasoning? Is the trust issue resigned to location or is it the idea of a group holiday in general? Speak on it!!
17 comments on “The Summer Holiday Dilemma”
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@Kyle, Chuch to your comment below.
“If a person wants to cheat, they’ll cheat anyway whether they’re in London or Miami.”
The trick is to get the Mrs to go on holiday with her girlfriends first and why she is away book yours. Its only fair.
The Yak
The Yak recently posted..6 Reasons Why I Think Drake Is The Best Rapper In The Game (Right Now)
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Lmao, Is that really how the convo goes?
She says no and that is it? Then she leaves you with the punchline, “if you go I won’t be here when you get back”
Damn lol
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Your friend is good not to go. His girlfriend is lucky he puts up with her insecurity. I agree with Kyle people will cheat anywhere they are if they have it in their heart to cheat.
Having had a similar girl friends holiday recently with the blessing of my other half I’m guessing your friend messed out on a good time.
Let’s hope resentment does not build up on your friends part or guilt on his girlfriends part.
I was trying to sum up to a sort of reasonable conclusion but I’m sorry to say he can’t go is out of order! The old chestnut… what is a relationship without trust?
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Yeah right… You lot need to talk to your boy and help him get his balls back. Tell him to Lie fuck it I don’t know him but I’ll lie for him. Lie, Lie, Lie but make sure he Brings back something nice for her accompanied by a good dick session.
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@ everyone above (especially my man not going Miami) – this whole debate is moist
@x2sidney hit the nail on the head – any real guy who is serious about his woman could 2nd guess that block coming – I.e. if she’s wifey you should know her nature as a standard…if she was any girl – you’d drop it to her straight like Hiroshima and watch her swallow it
Any real guy has experience the rig of war between man-dem and wifey…the good men tell lies because they 1) know that ignorance is bliss in such situations. Its the women close to us that we need to shield from the depraved streak in all of us…tell her what she needs to hear or fabricate another truth etc…beautiful lies are the very essence of BWNG.
Putting yourself on a polygraph in front on your woman is slow burn relationship-suicide…unless you’re Hitch (Will Smith or Pharrell – “pinnacle Miami man dem”) I would advise asking yourself first – what’s my other half like? Will this run? Unless unequivocal yes to both – do the right thing – lie
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PS – speaking from my own experience, anywhere liquid man dem really want to holiday is on a smart woman’s watchlist (the above rave spots excl. Miami are level. 1 heat) because they carry lesser attractions than (Miami, Paris, Cannes, Monaco, Barca, ATL, Dominican Republic-Cuba, Copacabana & Ipanemera Beach etc)…these are level 3 Heat destinations – why? Because she’s worried she’ll be out of sight out of mind and you be riding some serious attractions (and im not referring to Bush Gardens)
The acid test should always be – Am I on this trip because we are going to see something I wouldn’t ordinarily at home? Does she recognise this fact if so? Depending on your closing strategy (excl British Gas – only applicable to those with game = options for the trip ahead), is the risk worth the reward?
Having personally lied twice last yr for the purpose of “man-dem retreats” & so as not to insult my own wifey’s intelligence…I know she too has returned the compliment of late as well…I don’t care why – cos I’m off to the Barca F1 in 3 weeks time and of course I ommitted certain details such as the Wet Bar & Opium Mar Beach after-parties…
PS. if you’re serious mandem check out the W Hotel Barca but don’t come till next yr that way we all get to breathe
In conclusion – if it’s serious and you wanna keep her don’t tell the full truth in order to ensure you don’t miss out on what is guaranteed to be something the clique reminisce about for time time…if your close close are for life? you don’t wanna be that “you really should’ve/need to have been there guy) how would you feel if the photos on the Hangover camera meant nothing to you because you werent with the wolfpack?
If she’s disposable to you or you sense that you may be disposable to her – no point using unnecessary lifelines…I don’t doubt that Dr Faggot (Stu Hangover 1) is based on real life account from no savvy guys all over who bend over for the interim piece like she’s the One (meanwhile she’s at the Wet Bar afterparty giving “Becky” to whoever you are not)
*Cant say that i started intending for this to be a thesis but if after reading – your thinking how lapse is this guys punctuation, grammar & syntax…MUMU you really have missed the point of me blogging all this
Me an the mandem are in stitches still as I sign off now…BNWG, the timing & realness of this issue is approaching the levs of Eddie Murphy’s RAW line “Yes, your Man too!”
I’m out like Duncan Bannatyne
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well. i can’t believe this guy actually gave up that trip because she said no. if my man told me i couldnt go somewhere i’d ask why because if i’ve never given him a reason not to trust me then why should i stay in this rain? if in the past your boy cheated then i can understand why he backed down and said he can’t go. oh well! maybe next time
miss tammy recently posted..The Numbers Game
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See this is a drama situation! For some reason ( probably after watching too much greece. ibiza and miami uncovered) girls are not happyo to let their man go on a holiday to the afore mentioned places! Girls need to understand that these places are just the same as everywhere else and your man will cheat wherever! So can your girl for that matter.Be it london or japan! I guess these places seem to encourage it and its also the fact that your girl won’t know what you get up to unless one of the da man dem slips up!
So you know what go on your holiday and if she threatens to dump you then take note you will always be restricted by her in the future!
If a person wants to cheat, they’ll cheat anyway whether they’re in London or Miami. There’s attractive people everywhere so what difference does it make? Also if a person doesn’t want their BF/GF going on holiday in case they cheat then the same rules should apply to them.
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