The Summer Holiday Dilemma
A few years back when the exchange rate of the UK Pound to the US Dollar was something worth smiling about and had brothers feeling like they had Akeem’s money; BWNG and friends decided to set their sails stateside to celebrate graduating from University.
4 years of multi-thousand word assignments, sleep-reducing revision and uncompromising exams had to be countered with at least two weeks of relaxation and tom foolery. Asked whether we ‘soiled our royal oats’, I could only reply as a clichéd singleton with ‘What happens in……stays in…..’ (not much happened, we have no game remember?). It was definitely one of the best memories in recent years.
Fast forward to 2012.
The same group of friends meet up at a sports bar to have a catch up and one of them suggests that we all go on holiday to Miami this summer. Seeing as this country sees less sun than Antarctica at the moment and the weather has ADD as a whole, it was a no brainer for everyone to say yes.
Of course things have changed since THAT holiday a few years ago. We have different mindsets, receding hairlines, we’re more careful with our money and more importantly…not everybody is single now like we all were then. Meaning naturally we’d be taking a more varied approach to the holiday AND those who were taken had to tell (by tell I mean ask) their missus first. Despite a few manhood jokes, it was understood.
We started looking for villas and hotels and reasonable flight prices and had just made a breakthrough when one of the friends messaged us saying he couldn’t go; citing his workplace refusal to give him time off that month as the reason. Now if I hadn’t met his girlfriend prior to this I would have fell for that reason, but I knew, so to save face I spoke to him separately.
To put it plain and simply, she didn’t trust him…to gain perspective, she just wasn’t comfortable with the idea. It had recently occurred to me that Miami had been promoted into the unofficial top 5 holiday destinations that tested relationship trust issues. The other 4?
1) Ibiza 2) Cancun 3) Malia 4) Ayia Napa
A reputation has been built and once that gets into the head of someone, their partner can’t tell them nothing.
The Missus: How was the meet up with the boys?
The Contemplating Brother: Good good, was nice to see everyone again
This Missus: That’s nice, I’m glad you had a good time baby; I’m cooking your favourite dish tonight.
The Optimistic Brother: That’s great! You know it’s funny Mike was cooking up something earlier. He was thinking we all should hang out again
The Missus: yeah? When?
The Hesitant Brother: Erm…summer, you know, we haven’t been on holiday for a little while so erm…we’re looking to go
The Missus: Oh ok, where?
The Nervous Brother: Miami
The Missus: What?
The Compromising Brother: Just for two weeks, more like ten days, maybe a week?
The Missus: No
The Angry Brother: What do you mean no?
The Missus: I mean no, not gonna happen, I’m not comfortable with that
The Agitated Brother: How are you just gonna say no? It’s just a holiday
The Missus: Why do you all need to go abroad? Haven’t you guys been to America already?
The Annoyed Brother: Doesn’t matter where we’ve been, friends tend to spend time with each other and that’s what we’re doing
The Missus: Listen I already said I’m not comfortable with a group of guys going on holiday to those type of places so respect how I feel. If you do go, don’t expect me to be here when you’re back.
*Cue Eastenders ending theme song*
It was safe to say that our friend was banned from Miami. There was an option to change location but he opted against it and seeing as the deal we found was too good to miss, he didn’t have to tell us twice. To be outright banned from a country by your partner is a hard pill to swallow and the usual compromise option isn’t a whole lot better.
‘If you’re going on summer holiday with your boys, We’re ALL going on a summer holiday. Cliff Richard.’ – Disgruntled Girlfriend and possible Drake fan
Yes the compromise option for holiday trust issues is for your girl to go with you…9 times out of 10 a brother won’t ever let that happen. So why exactly is a woman (or man) in these situations so against this happening?
Is it the past? Some Men and Women have misbehaved on holiday before and have been honest (and brave) enough to tell their current partners – maybe this has swayed their decision. Is it hearsay? Ayia Napa for example has multiple closets full of skeletons and maybe your partner doesn’t want you to add more stories. Is it friends? Everybody has friends who are on the wild side and if you don’t its probably you – maybe your partner doesn’t trust you being in an impressionable environment with your wild friends. Is it the size of group? Maybe the amount of people you holiday with suggests the amount of madness you may get up to.
I can understand why a partner would feel uncomfortable with their boo going on a group holiday but lets pay a visit to our friend by the name of trust. The only responsibility friends have for each on the holiday is to make sure that they’re healthy and safe from random kidnapping (unless Liam Neeson is their father). Everybody is their own person and regardless of hearsay, past and/or friends ultimately it’s down to your partner to be a representative of your relationship and a continuously trust worthy individual on holiday. I say let them have that privilege. What do you think?
Ladies and Gents, have you had the holiday issue come up before? And if so, what was the reasoning? Is the trust issue resigned to location or is it the idea of a group holiday in general? Speak on it!!