Misconception #1 – Men Are Not Emotional

5-10 years ago the idea that we weren’t emotional was easily the number 1 fact in a woman’s thought process about the male species. Our logic/lack of voice in contrast to a woman’s emotion/voice projection built up a misconception that a brother didn’t garner feelings that often. Women had a point, I mean I haven’t cried in 15 years but have laughed at countless scenes in Titanic, kept straight faced listening to Boyz II Men and remain patronising during arguments with girlfriends (best way to lose an argument without actually losing…just saying).

However what was a misconception before is a foregone conclusion now, men are as emotional as ever. Whether it’s crying whilst watching Seven Pounds, calling a girl ugly after she rejects his advances, being an active fan of Glee or moaning that another brother is wearing the same cardigan as him even though you both got it from the baitest shop on Oxford Street EMOTION is the reason for the season.

So with that no longer on the radar here are the Top 5 Misconceptions About Men still floating around the universe

Misconception #1 – We Only Like Our Women Thick

She almost made me forget my point

Not necessarily. We like our women with a pulse.

Let me not fool you for one second, the likes of Rosa Acosta, Esther Baxter, Lisa Raye, Kim Kardashian, Bria Myles, Beyonce, Alicia Keys, Lola Luv etc etc are a sight for sore eyes and the proportions of breasteseses, thighs or ass will have many a man twist his neck and applaud and praise in chorus. That however is just a variant and you’ll find men have a much wider scope on what they like in a woman. Of those same men dribbling over these women, many would still do damage to the likes of Halle Berry, Amerie, Lanisha Cole, Zoe Saldana, Keri Hilson, Stacey Dash, Thandie Newton, Noemie Lenoir, Emanuela De Paula etc (some of whom aren’t necessarily skinny but aren’t thick either). Some men like ‘em thick, some like ‘em slim, some like ‘em slimmer but ultimately we like a woman with a pulse to be healthy, fit, balanced and comfortable in their own skin.

Some women get so caught up in the misconception, that they’re willing to delve into plastic surgery to create an overall booytylicious appearance conducive to what some music videos feed you (R.I.P Claudia Aderotimi); but truth be told a lot of men base their overall like on a natural body look. Ciara did more for brothers in that Ride video than most video girls do in multiple videos (albeit through sex, but hey!) and she’s slim. If you’re naturally thick like Lisa Raye, brilliant; if you’re naturally balanced like Stacey Dash, fantastic; if you’re naturally slim like Amerie, wonderful. It doesn’t matter, we likes ya and we wants ya. Say no to plastic surgery, say yes to gym…

Misconception #2 – We Are Afraid of Commitment

Commitment!! Run for your lives!!

Who told you!!? Though there are some dudes who choose to dodge relationships out of fear like Dizzee Rascal chose to dodge media training but the majority have a much better reason….they don’t want to commit. Sometimes a man just isn’t at a stage of his life where he can commit or share a large portion of his life with one person; whether it be down to career, comfortability, pimpin’ or lack of interest. Where fear came into the equation, I will never know. Though I do believe time to be an important factor in a man starting a relationship/marriage I think the right woman can make a man commit at any time.

Men have a very structured way of thinking and dont like to be in limbo, we know what we want and will make it crystal clear so we can push things forward. A man that’s ready for marriage/relationship and a long term commitment isn’t afraid of getting  serious; a man that’s in limbo is likely to have purposely put himself there to bide time while he either:

1. Actively searches for someone he truly wants (meaning he has no intentions of committing to you and will possibly begin games, lies and excuses until he gets to a conclusion)

2. Contemplates whether you are the right person for him (meaning he has intentions of committing to you but needs to be 100% sure that it will work long term)

Note to Women: Don’t believe men are fearful of relationships as this will make you  try too hard to have a man settle down and if he recognises this he’ll be put off.

Misconception #3 – All We Think About Is Sex

Not true we also think about football, music, plantain and petrol prices

Admittedly we take much pride in gaining knowledge of your menstrual cycle so we know when and when not to get active in the sheets, but we do think outside the box/bed. While the physical aspect is crucial/integral for most of us men it’s only 5-45 mins of pleasure a night (or every two nights, or a week, or at worst a month, god forbid a year) we need more to think about, like feeling the solidity of the relationship (awwwwhatever). You’ll find that a man cares about all the nurturing, conversation, love and active things you do for/with him and thinks about that even more than the sex. Then there’s the football, music, plantain and petrol prices…

Misconception #4 – Chivalry is Dead

"Will this get me to second base?"

Over the years it seems as though men have reversed the natural evolution of chivalry in a sense that now the older a man gets, the less chivalrous he becomes (unless he learnt it from a young age). Possibly due to the ‘lame’ and ‘cheesy’ title they’ll get from some of the disrespectful and ungreatful women roaming the streets. HOWEVER I’m here to reassure both men and women that chivalry shouldn’t be considered dead and there’s nothing wrong with pulling out a chair for a woman, opening doors for her to walk through, being polite during most conversations or sleeping in the wet spot….Its all part of being a gentleman; and if being a gentleman is wrong I dont wanna be right. Nice men get the last laugh so continue being chivalrous and ladies they do exist, they’re right in front of you…like Wale.

Sunny Delight has come and gone, so have tamagochis, Ashanti’s career, hi5 and Winston from Eastenders, but CHIVALRY will ALWAYS survive!

Misconception #5 – All Men Cheat

If you run across a woman who tells you that all men cheat it’s usually because she’s been cheated on herself and has unresolved anger towards that man…

If you run across a man who tells you all men cheat it’s usually because he’s cheated, a couple of his boys have cheated and he’s generalising to get himself out the wet spot (no pun intednded)…

I do believe a man is as faithful as his options and is liable to cheat but we won’t/don’t all do it. Some men have cheated (once), some men have cheated (many times), some men are cheating as we speak but not all men cheat. Women you can’t let failed relationships shape your views on all men. It will only cause you to come off bitter and emotionally unavailable. That being said this dude did crack me up with this..

I’m gone like Osama (pssh that brother’s not dead)

JC
Twitter: @CredibleJ / @TheBWNG

What say you Ladies and Gents? What are your thoughts on the misconceptions? Are there general misconceptions about women? What other misconceptions are there about men? The floor is yours!