The Wedding: 6 Things Men Think About
Yep, put a a group of male friends in a friendship and discussion long enough and marriage/wedding will end up being the topic. Not to say that we start thinking about the theme, glass statues or intricate trimmings of the napkins on each table at the reception, but we do have thoughts before, during and after the big day. I’d go as far to say men think about the wedding more than any woman without a gay friend can imagine…especially if we’re in a relationship or at that stage where we’re single and some type of euphoria hits us:
“I’m getting too old for this” *gets off random woman halfway through sex and walks off*
Myself and the brothers discussed weddings a couple weeks back and though answers varied, I concluded there were 6 things men think about in and around the wedding. So here is (insert title):
The Bachelor Party
Typified as the ‘Last Day Of A Man’s Freedom’ the bachelor party or weekender is usually one of the greatest moments we never remember, mainly because we were either too drunk or have gracefully adhered to Rule #1000 of the Man Code, never refer to, mention or acknowledge your bachelor party after it’s over. The best thing about a bachelor party is partaking in something that you rarely do or will never ever do again after ‘I Do’; if that involves drunken nights in Vegas, hiring strippers who specialise in making cucumbers dissappear and Julius Agahowa backflips, attempting to kidnap Obama or relaxing in knitwear at a cabin reading Wuthering Heights…then so be it. We just look forward to kicking it with some of our closest friends doing ‘boys will be boys’ things in the most outlandish, crazy or boring ass fashion.
In the just made up “Nerve-Wracking Moments in a wedding where you hope someone doesn’t f*ck up and mess up the whole damn wedding” Book (working title) are 5 moments. In fourth place behind “The Moment where She has to say ‘I Do’” “The Moment where I have to say ‘I Do’” and “The Moment where nobody should say a thing after the priest says “speak now or forever hold your piece” is “The Moment when I say my speech”. We look forward to this moment because we get to declare our love and appreciation of our other half in front of everybody we care about….and it’s from the heart, none of that pre-written blackberry Drake freestyle nonsense. Genuine emotion.
The Best Man
Of all the men planning to get married I’d say 50% have no idea who the hell they’re gonna choose to be their best man. The problem stems from the fact that guys become friends very easily, all we need is that one thing we like in common (Football, Stacey Dash, Music, Women, Money, Women, Cars, Women, Clothes) and we’re good to go forever; and rarely do men fall out. So when you have friends from primary and/or secondary school that you’ve known forever alongside siblings and old university friends that you hang with every week and narrow it down you’re sometimes faced with a small dilemma. It’s all harmless now but when we decide to purchase the ring we have to make that executive decision. How do we choose?
The Bride’s Aisle Walk
You hear a lot of stories about how nervy, exciting, emotional it is for the bride or even the bridesmaid, groomsmen and flower children to walk down the aisle as people smile, cry and take pictures and the music plays…but what about the groom? Imagine having to look forward whilst this is all happening, and after hours, days, possibly more of not seeing her. Those same butterflies, nerves and excitement the bride feels will be mirrored by brothers and once the music starts and the bride finally reaches the front of the congregation, we know its real….
The Bridal Party
The wedding undoubtedly belongs to the bride and groom (and the parents who decided to invite their whole family/friends including imaginary “aunties” and “uncles” you’ve neeeever seen in your life) but we still want our single friends to have some fun; so believe it or not we scope your single friends and acquaintances to see if there’s eye candy for our friends. I don’t have any stats on the amount of hook ups there are at weddings but other than the five places/mediums to find your Mr/Mrs Right or Mr/Mrs Right Now this has got to be up there. So the single friends BEST be on point. Aint no fun if the homies cant have none. Note to my single readers, my single friends are the equivalents of Chuck Halle Berry Damon Stacey Dash and 50 Tyson Beckford….ok I’m lying, but they’re catches. You’re all invited to my wedding…
Do I really have to explain?
And that’s all I got to say about that
Are there anymore things men think about? Are any of our readers on the brink of marriage, what are your thoughts? To the married men, what were your thoughts? To the married women, was your bridal party on point? Holla!
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