A couple of weeks ago I wrote a post called Things I Will Tell My Daughter, which basically listed a couple of things I would tell her to help prepare her for the life ahead of her. Since then I have thought to myself, “What if I had a boy though?” ….things would differ a lot. After thinking for a while, I scribbled them down and thought I would share them seeing as its 2012 and we are into equal rights and all that. So here’s a couple of the things I came up with:

“You can be anything you want to be but without hard work you will be nothing”

A different approach to that of my parents who told me “it is by force you become a lawyer or a doctor”…just kissing their teeth when I told them anything else. It’s pressure for people to succeed in today’s world and more so for men who are expected to be the providers so I won’t add extra pressure. I might be tempted to dress him in an Arsenal kit, take him to the park 3 hours a day for training and have him join a professional club by 8 posing as a 6 year old (Ghanaian parents these days), but I think it’s best I just relax and let him pick his own path.

You can be a lawyer, computer programmer, actor, a doctor or even Dr Dre if you like, just work hard and try to be the best at it. On the subject of Dr Dre I’ll also tell him…

“Your life/career is a marathon not a sprint”

Basically kid, patience is a virtue and something you must have to succeed. You can’t give up at the first hurdle or get jealous because you see people who have things that you don’t and then resort to drastic measures to get them. A lot of young boys these days are too caught up with things of no substance and lose sight of the long term goal ready to mess up their present for some fresh kicks. Don’t believe me? We had riots last year and amongst the most looted spots were JD Sports and Footlocker. If those kids had some foresight they would have looted somewhere more productive like Waterstones and Rymans (not that I’m encouraging it).

“Rappers lie and video chicks don’t really look like that”

In an age where the media has a lot of influence in the way we grow up, I’ll probably go to the extreme of having BET, MTV Base, King magazine and all depictions of Flavor Flav banned from my house. I will try to tell him early not to believe the hype and live in the real world. Don’t buy in to it. Don’t waste your student loan pouring Moet or Ace of Spades on the floor thinking that video chicks are gonna just stand next to you and start booty shaking or randomly groping you with Jeremiah and 50 Cent playing in the background. It’s a lie (well kinda!!). The only people who lie more than politicians are rappers; take them with a pinch of salt. I’ll also tell him the legend of a man named Officer Ricky.

Also you are not a Trapstar because you listen to Jeezy or a thug because you own Get Rich or Die Trying so don’t bother. I hope by then the titles haven’t got stupid, i.e  Shotterman & Serial Killer make money or become a suicide bomber. Get rich or stay alive and live modest will do fine.

“Your children will not have Se15, E3 or blue block as surnames; neither did your dad”

If my son utters any kind of gang affiliated talk, he’s receiving old fashioned beats and new age punches to the throat. You represent your family not your postcode. I commend this man below

One of my biggest fears of having kids is raising a boy that will decide he wants to be a gangbanger. I know some people will say if you raise them right this won’t happen but I grew up where the rich kid and pastors daughter were the most scandalous in the ends. Of all “phases” kids go through, this is the most dangerous.

“Support your football team with pride it will mould you for future experience”

Pick a club that’s local or that you like; think long and hard and stick with them. They will give you good and bad days for memories but this is just how life goes. You can’t support Man City just because they have a new owner and are buying pretty players, you must learn loyalty. A dip in your club’s form is like your wife putting on some extra pounds and you leaving her for the slim ting. Remember her glory days, savour the memories she gave you and support her back to top form.

“Lock HER down early”

If you are fortunate enough to have a faithful childhood sweetheart be kind to them and don’t let them go. No scenario will hurt you more than being 28 wondering where all the good women are and your former childhood sweetheart rolls by possibly with your former best friend and a small army of children. You may feel like you want to experience the world and then settle down but its overrated … ok no it’s fun but you will regret it if you let a good one go.

” Avoid playing Russian roulette with your penis”

This won’t end well son. You will either end up with a good time girl aka (mandem know what I mean) for a mother or 3 baby mothers or a burning sensation when you pee. After this all suspects either plead the 5th or give no comment in interviews regarding the origin of the dose.

Oh yeah and “Women are ALWAYS right”. Well let them think they are if you love your stress levels.

Don Kwelu

BWNG readers do you agree? What pearls of wisdom will you share for your daughters and sons when she arrives? Parents what advice have you given to your sons and daughters?