Things Women Say That Wind Men Up
Afternoon! So the day after Sepp Blatter says there is no racism in football and everybody should shake hands, Nasa gives us half stories about their recent discoveries in space and @MaverickBWNG denies he is Bendtner in disguise I thought I’d try and be a bit different and tell the truth. After recently coming across “5 Things You Shouldn’t Say To A Woman Without Expecting A Smack” again I thought I would spin Justin Credible’s article on its head and look at things women shouldn’t say to men without expecting to frustrate them.
I would say to avoid a slap or to avoid a shaking however at BWNG we don’t promote violence towards women. Slapping and shaking are out of the question and although restraining techniques can be employed in extreme cases I thought there’s no need to go there in the title (I’m over explaining now). Instead of reacting violently, men just cheat moan or give you the ‘it’s cool’ treatment and then sit you down a month later to tell you about perceived “respect issues”. Its fair to say that women are specialists at winding us up with the things they say sometimes accidentally and other times it is clearly intentional. So after speaking to the brothers and a couple of conversations with a few women I present to you things we have put together to avoid saying to men if you don’t want to piss them off unnecessarily or unintentionally .
“How long until this finishes?”
This statement is usually made during football associated activities although there are exceptions. Sometimes it’s whilst playing COD online or in the middle of Fifa/Pro or whilst you’re watching MOTD or Monday Night Football. Basically almost anytime we are having fun by yourself, doing something which requires our full attention (that she would rather have onto herself ) she will ask this question. For the ladies that haven’t grasped this, I’m begging you to understand that ARSENAL VS TOTTENHAM means that if you’re not Clive Tildsley or John Motson please don’t speak unless you have football commentary skills or the house is on fire. There is a clock in the top right corner of the screen luv; you know the answer, you’re just talking for talking sake. 90 minutes is all I ask for.
“Grow Up”
If growing up means to look as miserable or as serious as you do right now as you are saying this to me I’m perfectly happy being Peter Pan.
“You’re like a brother to me”
I saw somebody tweet this week about the family zone which looked like advanced friend zone bars (sad times). Friend zone placement without consent is bound to wind up any guy who does not share your view unless he said “you’re like a sister to me” first or you’re 100% sure he has no intention of ever attempting to sleep with you based on realistic facts. This could go down wrong even though he might not say and he will take it as a serious par. What is most annoying is he probably doesn’t want to be your pretend brother in the first place or knows you are just trying to indirectly tell him “I don’t like you” disguised as a compliment. Why play Brothers and Sisters when he wants to play Mummy and Daddy’s?
“Stop, this just doesn’t feel right”
This is ok as long as we’re not both naked at the time with your heart beating anticipating doing the damn thing when it is said. A build up of excitement which becomes a half naked discussion is quite frustrating; although later on we may understand
“Be a man”
What the hell does this mean? If I told you to be a woman what would you say to that? “you’re just being silly now” I bet. Is there a standardised male prototype rolling around called man whom I haven’t met? He’s probably some Caveman or Neanderthal from what you seem to be implying every time you say it that we are supposed to copy. When I usually hear men generalised, its as testosterone filled, sport-loving dogs, who hump everything in sight and lack emotions so I’m sometimes confused by requests to act to stereotypes that you may not actually like, be careful what you wish for.
“Nothing”
Guy: What’s wrong?
Girl: Nothing
Guy: You don’t sound yourself did I do something
Girl: If you don’t know it doesn’t matter
Guy: Ok
Girl: See you don’t even care
Guy: huh?
This is definitely the winner of THEE MOST ANNOYING STATEMENT OF ALL TIME and only a mind reader or a guy who has admitted defeat already can not be affected by this.If he is in a bad mood already the fact that he has come to terms with this before will be quickly forgotten however and he will switch off immediately
"You had your chance to talk 6 hours ago, give me the remote!"
“We need to talk”
If this is said at a time when both of you are actually free to speak but followed by “not now, later” the aim is to make you sweat and ponder about what you have done wrong and me even thinking about it is winding me up. If you make an issue of this be aware that a woman will tell you that if you have nothing to feel guilty about there should be no need to worry however this is the default line to rationalise what she is trying to do to you as guys are fully aware that when this conversation takes place it is about something petty most of the time even though the “we need to talk” was said in such a serious tone you pondered pregnancy, cheating allegations or a break up.
“I have a headache”
I may be a brother with no game but I haven’t received these words yet; however a few of the men I asked mentioned it. I have a headache is the most popular of the “I don’t want to have sex” lines. Justin Credible has assured me that sex is scientifically proven to cure headaches however maybe this article has not reached the masses. Holla at @CredibleJ for more scientific sex facts; he has loads.
Questions or Statements which you already know the answer to including:
What are we doing? You are not 12 come on don’t ask silly questions
Where is this going? No comment
What is that supposed to mean? I’m done
So that’s a few things I have noted that women say that might get on guy’s nerves and to be honest they are not to be taken literally and are only meant to highlight some of the things us guys wouldn’t mind a little less of for an easier life. Let me know if you have any to add.
Don Kwelu
(MEN: WE DONT KNOW WHAT WE DID!)
This is definitely the winner of THEE MOST ANNOYING STATEMENT OF ALL TIME and only a mind reader or a guy who has admitted defeat already can not be affected by this but if he is in a bad mood already the fact that he has come to terms with this before
21 comments on “Things Women Say That Wind Men Up”
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*Raises hand*
GUILTY.
I still hold that men like to be annoyed a little bit by females. It gives you something to blog about.
“You’re sooo cute.” =>That one is tried and tested.
But then again, I like taking guys to the sexy side of annoyed/pi$$ed. I don’t go as far as Ike Turner pissed though. I like my face.
Well done Dom, you did it again.
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“You re like a brother to me”, hahaha, if a woman says that to you, I m sorry but you might just be a Heskey bro.
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Hi Marielle, this is a Heskey http://www.brotherswithnogame.com/5-ways-to-know-youre-playing-the-heskey-role-with-chicks/
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i’ll bite.
1. im an NFL fan myself, so those words will never, ever and The Rock means EVER come out of my mouth (unless it’s a boring AFC game, in which case..i’ll just take my NFL nap).
2. to tell a grown man to grow up…is to expect bad things. i dont like bad things.
3. i have two brothers, i dont need anymore. this is a way to let a dude know we are in no way shape or form feeling you the way you are feeling us. it couldn’t be more clear. cuz when we all know what happens when we ‘friend-zone’ you right?
4. sigh. this seems to keep popping up around the internets, so lets just say it once and for all (pardon the caps) LADIES, STOP SAYING NO WHEN YOU MEAN YES. EFF IF HE THINKS YOU’RE A HEAUX. YOU ARE CONFUSING THE HELL OUT OF HIM, AND SETTING A NEXT GIRL UP FOR AN ACTUAL SEXUAL ASSAULT. would you tell a child who wants to play in fire YES when you really mean NO?
5. see answer #2
6. hmm.. i am guilty of this. but mostly because i try to pick my battles and dont like speaking out of anger. i may be vex, but i’d rather wait and choose my words wisely. i’ve been told this method of communication sucks salty balls. its a process…
7. hmm…..i kinda gave my feelings on that here *cough, cough…shameless promo…http://fourpageletter.wordpress.com/2011/11/04/canwetalk/
8. fact…our mental and physical are connected. when my eyes are sensitive to light and my temples are throbbing…the only state of mind im in is..sleep and maybe some drugs. sexytime is theeee furthest thing from ones mind. so this COULD be a valid reason. yes, it’s an historical cop-out, but i’d be surprised if any woman born in this millennium has ACTUALLY used this.
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@keisha brown, Not to nit pick but women born in this millennium are at maximum 11? I dont think they are doing the segsy time yet. I do like your response to telling a man to grow up, it is possibly the best way to wind a man up is to tell him to man up or grow up. You just reverse psychology’d him into acting like a little kid.
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I too am guilty of saying we need to talk. After reading Steve Harvey’s ‘Act Like A Lady Think Like A Man’ I’ve learnt to rephrase the dreaded sentence. As I know it puts the fear of God into men and leaves them fretting about what’s wrong.
I guess it all boils down to the different styles of communication men and women use and how well we really know our partners.
Another faux pas is constantly criticising other women. I used to nit-pick woman’s clothes whilst out with my partner due to my own insecurities. He couldn’t grasp why women are so quick to criticize?
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Granted i am guilty of near enough all these statements minus, how long in relation to football, because i lovea bit of footie and dahh there’s a timer. In relation to COD and PRO i’m defo like come on, how many games you gonna play, because i truly think its an unproductive waste of time, what do these games really do for your life? Its anti social, i mean if i’m reading a book or cooking in the mean time by all means but not when i’m sitting there twiddling my thumbs, do that unproductive tish in your own time.
I have a headache, hell no! more like i’m pissed with you and i just don’t want you to touch me like that right now. For women sex is very much psychological, every sense has to be aroused for the juices to flow.
I strongly believe that the ‘be a man’….. about it statement is made in ref to just being responsible about the situation, address the situation head on. (Tony Braxton sang it well. I mean if you were at work and ya boss came into your office and say you got the accounts wrong, you need to fix it, u wouldn’t run out the building, so why do it in a relationship? In some cases just taking the bleeding lead, u know being a Mufasa!
Oh gosh this “nothing” thing has been the problem for centuries, i mean damn, people are guarded, sometimes they need a lil push… a lil dig, a lil normal behaviour so that they may be able to open up…
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Hiiiilariiious! love it, i have missed BWNG for a hot minute man! Im going to have to sign out in a bit
looking forward to catching up on the rest! BWNG, always a pleasure! lol
“Im perfectly happy being peter pan” – paha.
“There is a clock in the top right corner of the screen luv”- paha
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I do none of the above but i still ain’t got a man, men just can’t seem to appreciate a woman who doesn’t wind them up they have to ruin it by trying to wind me up to get even its happened to me before i’m calm and contemplative so i think before i speak yet some men are ill-willed and try to manipulate this and try to bring out the worst in me if they can to get even. If they are not contemplative and i am they will knock this down and try to get even with you.
Dudes you can’t wind up innocent chicks that don’t deserve it just to torture for fun that’s just not cool stop treating the women that respect you bad.
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I will put my hands up and say I am guilty of the first one (“how long until this finishes?”) and it’s ALWAYS to do with football related activities or COD. But I’ve never, ever done “Nothing”. I’ve actually had men do that to ME, which made me want to check that their genetalia were indeed real, and not prosthetic.